the only one

the before

february 2020
vera

"i don't know lila i'm not sure i even want to talk to guys right now, i mean i'm still totally hung up on luca that cute guy from math class."

"ugh come on, you know you need this! you need to stop obsessing over him, besides i think he is dating emily now."

"ugh emily? he friendzoned me for emily? didn't john just break up with her cause he found out she was making out with aiden in the bathroom?"

"haha yup. that's exactly why you need to get over luca, his standards are obviously way too low."

she was right, she always was. this is why we were best friends. she's the one you can count on in all situations in life. her advice is like tacos, good for every occasion. i've always been best friends with lila. our moms said since we were three, when my family moved in the next street over from hers. lila's dad and my mom are cousins, that's how we were introduced! we have had our ups and downs through our thirteen years of friendship but i wouldn't trade her for the world.

"i'm just going to add them all," lila says as she starts tapping the add button next to all the guys names in the quick add section on snapchat. I soon after start doing the same. minutes later i see a notification. carson grey added you back! i open my phone to a snapchat from him.

"ooooh he's cute!!" lila says with enthusiasm peeking over my shoulder. we are met with a set of piercing blue eyes and a soft one sided smile looking at us through the phone screen. she's right he is cute. one of the cutest guys i've ever seen. i swipe into the chat and start typing:

hey, what grade are you in?

i sit there anxiously awaiting those thought bubbles to show up above his avatar.

a simple reply, ninth, read across my screen. lila looks over my shoulder again and let's out an over dramatic gasp

"oooooh an older boy!"

i giggle at her remark, "stop he's only one year older."

i type in a reply to carson, oh i'm in eighth, hoping he doesn't leave me on read just because i'm a year younger.

oh nice.

oh nice? what does that even mean? does he think i'm weird? i cant find a non awkward way to reply so i just send a snapchat of my face.

you're very pretty.