Damaged Raven

24

"Well..." Remus coughed "Anyway, I am a werewolf. And I couldn't get custody of children because of that, especially the boy-who-lived and son of two war heroes."

"You don't need custody to visit" Harry pointed out

"I had asked Dumbledore where you were" Lupin said quickly "he told me that you were safe in your aunt's house and that you were protected. I couldn't send letters to you when you were younger because you wouldn't understand them or be able to read them and when you were older I didn't want to surprise you and make things difficult. I figured that it'd be better for you if I stayed out of your life, so you could be happy with your aunt."

"You know..." Harry said before Remus could continue "I don't like you. Do you know that?" Remus blinked in surprise at the bluntness of Harry's words, he then saw Harry's eyes and realised that he was going to get one of the verbal beatdowns that Lily used to give everyone, if rumours were true then Harry was just as deadly with his tongue as Lily "It's not because you're a werewolf, I can live with that. It's not because you abandoned me and left me, I understand that. You didn't want me, that's fine"

"Harry, I..."

"I can also understand you leaving Sirius, you thought he was a traitor and wanted nothing to do with him. Understandable, but there's one thing I don't like about you. You're a coward, you abandon me and your friends yet you come back and instead of admitting your mistakes you make excuses. You weren't there, me and Sirius suffered. You know how much easier my life would have been if I had at least one person to look after me, and when I found that person, it wasn't you. It was Bellatrix, a woman who everyone believed was a death eater despite the fact that she was innocent. You didn't send a single letter, fine, don't act like it was for any other reason than because you didn't want to.

If I hurt someone, I own up to it and I don't give reasons and excuses, I admit my mistakes. You abandoned me, admit that it was because you didn't want me and stop blaming others."

"Harry, it wasn't my fault" Remus said in a pleading voice "I'm a werewolf and..."

"Werewolf" Harry scoffed "you transform once a month and you're indisposed for that day, the day before and the day after at max. That's three days in a month where I can't be around you, that leaves at a good few weeks where you could've sent letters or visited. You could have asked that old goat Dumbledore where I was and sent a letter."

"Harry, the headmaster deserves your respect" Lupin frowned "you shouldn't speak about him like that"

"I will talk about the barmy old fucker anyway I want" Harry replied

"Harry, he is a good man" Lupin replied

"I don't give a shit, I think the old bastard can go screw himself"

"If it wasn't for him then I wouldn't have even been allowed to attend school" Lupin said defending the headmaster

"Well goody for you, what part of me looks like I care?" Harry replied "I don't care about Dumbledore, what I do care about is how you messed up and are now making excuses."

"I am not making excuses! You don't know what it's like being a werewolf!"

"I don't know what it's like?!" Harry glared at Remus "Out of all the people in this bloody school, I know what it's like the most! I know pain! I know judgement! I know not being yourself! I know how it feels when you have someone try to change you into something you don't want to be! I know worrying about hurting people who don't deserve it! I don't transform on a full moon but that doesn't mean that I haven't suffered either! And don't change the subject, this is about you making excuses!"

"I am not making excuses!"

"Aren't you?! Because Bellatrix was an ex-death eater! She was and still is hated by the whole of the magical world for something she never asked to do! She lost her friends! She lost Ted Tonks, her brother-in-law! She's accused of torturing one of her friends who is currently in an insanity induced coma! Her youngest sister ended up getting married to a blonde, arrogant dick with girly hair who funded Voldemort and she was tortured and raped by the very people that everyone accuses her of supporting! And the troubles don't end there because she was also a single mother! Despite all of that, she was there! She didn't need to be! She could've left me but she was there! She visited me every few days! At least once a week or once a month if she was busy! And if she couldn't visit then she'd send a letter! Sirius had spent years locked in a cell with dementors for company yet he responds at least once a week.