Chapter One

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Summer. The one time period sent my whole life spiraling into a giant whirlwind of life changing events.

The summer of my sophomore going into junior year summer was a summer filled with happiness, funny stories, and laughable experiences, but also heart breaking, tear spilling, and regretful memories.

It started on the second day of summer. I was laying down scrolling through pictures when my doorbell rang.

"Spencer, can you get that?" My mom asked.

I rolled my eyes, as I walked to the door, and looked through the peephole. I screeched in excitement, as I opened the door, pulling my best friend Jace into a hug.

Normally I wouldn't react like this, but I haven't physically seen Jace in two years. His dad's job got transferred from Illinois to Alabama.

"What are you doing here?!" I asked when I let go.

"Moving back in with my mom." He smiled. "I missed Rockford too much to stay in Alabama"

"Well Rockford missed you too." I laughed. "Do you want to go on a walk?"

"Yeah, of course."

I put my phone in the back pocket of my jean shorts, slipped on my peach colored flip flops, and left my house.

"How are you doing?" He asked.

I know he meant the cutting. Last year I had started self-harming, and he was always worried about me. He had checked up on me every week since I started, letting me know that I could talk to him about anything.

"I'm okay. I'm two months clean so..." I answered honestly, trailing off at the end.

"Good. You're too amazing, and beautiful to be doing something like that to yourself." He assured.

"What made you want to move back in with your mom?" I asked, changing the subject.

"You." He said.

"No. Really." I told him, wanting the real answer.

"Why won't you believe it's you? That's the only reason I have." He explained.

"Why would you move back to Illinois for me?"

"Because, I like you. A lot. Like as more than a friend."

My eyes widened, and before I could tell what was happening, I ran as fast as I could. I didn't know where I was running to until I was in my best friend, Nichole's yard. I walked through the front door, and ran up to Nichole's, only to find that she wasn't there. I walked across the hall and knocked on her brother Derek's door.

"Come in!" He shouted.

"Where's Nick?" I asked.

"She went to go see a movie with Freddie, Caleb, and Amanda." He stated. "Why?"

"Do you really want to know why?"

"My brain is telling me no, but you're my best friend so I'm going to say yes." He said jokingly. "Don't make me regret saying yes."

"Jace is back, but he told me that he liked me as more than a friend. Then I got freaked out, and didn't know how to answer, so I ran all the way here." I explained.

"First of all when did Jay get back?" Derek asked, using Jace's nickname.

"This morning. He just knocked on my door about thirty minutes ago." I explained.

"Second, do you like him, as more than a friend?" He asked.

"I don't know. I mean he's nice, funny, talented, and smart, but he's also one of my best friends. If something goes wrong, and we broke up it would ruin our friendship." I told him.

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