How Did We Get Here?

Gabriela

Life isn't always as perfect as it seems. My life in particular. Sure, Mom and Dad try to make it look amazing, but they are falling out of love. They're going to get a divorce. I just know it.

But as the oldest, it's my job to protect Josie and Holden. They're younger than me, and they will be so much more affected than I am. They're only ten, the twins. They don't deserve this.

But of course, I need to pretend my family is not falling apart. Every word, every movement, every action. There's no more love. It's just an obligation. And I swear to God I cannot take it anymore. Walking to school used to be fun. I could walk with Leya. But Leya's popular now. And she doesn't walk to school. She carpools with Mazie and Sloane. The girls who single-handedly ruined my life. Made me get an eating disorder at the age of twelve, self-harm at thirteen, and have three mental illnesses at the age of fourteen. Leya knew all of this and still decided to be friends with them. She was my friend since we were three. I don't know how she could do this to me.

But I need to suck it up and go to school.

Good grades.

Good GPA.

Good college.

Good job.

Good life.

I need to do good on my calculus test. And I need to find another extracurricular to round out my resume. Apparently, my idea of volunteering at an orphanage was bogus because "I was already volunteering at a dog shelter."
Thanks, Mom.

I'm already walking into class. Apparently my thoughts gave me an energy boost on my walk to school.

"Hi Mrs. Cooper," I greet, waving. I head towards my seat.

"Hi, Gabriela. How are you?"
Terrible. Sad. Tired. Hopeless.

"I'm great! How are you?"
"I'm fine myself, young lady. Ready for the test?"
"Yep."

Now, listen. I'm not a loner or anything. I have friends.

Kayla, Miriam, Raina, and Sheila. But they're nothing like Leya. Nothing at all. And there's still a human-shaped hole in my heart that someone else needs to fill. Someone who was like Leya. But not the Leya she is today.

I'm also not Ms. Popular (clearly).

I dress simple. I have a nice body. I have a nice face. But I don't think anyone has a crush on me. Which I'm completely okay with. I'm focused on my future. Not having a dude obsess over my lips.

I open my calculus notes and review one last time.

I hear a group of boys howling and doubling over with laughter. It's probably the football players.

And I'm right.

They all say hi to Mrs. Cooper - because she's the sweetest how could you not - and then they sit down.

I have the lovely pleasure of sitting behind Liam. A very attractive man.

But I've said all of five words to him.
"Yes, I have a pencil."

Anyways, I focus on my notes. He turns around to face me.

"Hi," he says, as if this is some normal thing we do. Talk to each other.

"Hey," I say, trying to stay focused but not be rude.

"Watcha doin," he asks. Why is he talking to me?

"Studying. You should study too ya know."

He snatches my notebook. Ugh. Why does it have to be so hot when he does something so annoying?