(Hannah's pov)
Sarah smiles at me as she's eating breakfast when I walk out of our bedroom to the kitchen.
"Goodmorning!" She says in a happy tone. I smile and greet her back as I take some bread.
"Well someone's happy." I smile at her and sit with her at our wooden table.
"Really?" She says in a sarcastic way. I laugh and shake my head as I take a bite from my bread. We don't have much, but we have each other and a roof over our head so that must count for something.
I really wish the world would see us differently. Like the same as they see a normal couple you know? They don't give weird looks when they see other couples spending time together. They smile at it. But us? If they ever see us together? We will be hanged. That's why we live far away from the other people. We get our food from a few settlements further. It's not the best life but as long as we have each other it's okay.
"Hannah?" I look up.
"HANNAH!"
I wake up in a shock to find myself in my tiny bedroom.
"HANNAH!" I hear yelling again. It's mother. I sigh deeply as I put my hand on my head wishing for the headache to fade away.
"Yes?" I answer.
"GET OUT OF YOUR BED RIGHT NOW!" It's light outside. Church time.
"I'm coming." I get out of bed and go outside.
"We need to get you to church this instant!" She yells at me and grabs my arm. What did I do wrong?
"That girl really bewitched you so bad you cried all night long in your room." Suddenly everything comes back to me like a knife in my chest.
"Sarah." I mumble as my mom is still grabbing me by the arm and rushing towards church.
When we're there she forces me to sit down on my knees. "Now pray for forgiveness!" She yells out, tears are streaming down my face. It's like finding out that Sarah's dead all over again. I can't get words out of my mouth. It's like I don't have control over my own body anymore.
Flashes of last night run through my head as I hear her voice in my head. The way she confessed. Was she telling the truth? Did she bewitch me? Curse me? Or did she confess to make me live?
My mother sits down on her knees next to me and says all her prayers. By the time she's done I've calmed down and we both just sit there in silence on our knees.
After a while my mother finally stands up so I do too. She walks out of church in silence, not even paying attention if I follow her. So I don't. I take the other way and run towards lizzie's home.
Lizzie is my best friend. Maybe she'll understand. I doubt it though. I don't think anyone will understand if a girl likes another girl except the person itself.
I knock on her door. Questions running through my head. Am I sick? Wicked? The bible says so. Maybe there's a cure. But what if there isn't?
My thoughts are interrupted as Lizzie's mother opens up and looks at me with disgust right before she slams the door shut again right in my face. I turn around, holding back tears as I start to walk away. I don't have anywhere to go. My other friends probably won't let me in either. Or at least their parents won't. I walk towards the forest. It's the only place I can be at peace.
-
"Hannah!" I hear the familiar voice of Lizzie behind me. I'm sitting at the huge stone where we buried Sarah last night. I can hear Lizzie's feet stomping on the ground as she runs to me. By the time I stood up and turned around her arms are already wrapped around me.
"I'm here." She whispers as tears stream down my cheeks. I don't think I could imagine a better best friend.
I pull away from the hug as I wipe my tears away. "Why are you not angry?" I ask as a sob leaves my lips. "I sinned. I'm sick." I say as I feel tears falling down my cheeks again.
"Hannah stop. Don't say that." Lizzie answers. "You aren't sick. Not at all." She says, wiping my tears away.
I don't get it. How isn't she ignoring me right now? We all know how dangerous this disease is. I don't think she realizes.
"You need to stay away from me. You'll get it too." I say as I turn around and walk away. She stops me as she catches up with me. "Hannah listen to me." She grabs my arm making me stop and look at her. "I know you and if there's one thing that you are it's good. You aren't sick. It's something people like your mother believe. Just because they believe something doesn't make it true." I look down at my feet as I'm about to cry. I don't want her to see me cry. I don't want anyone to see me cry. It'll only worry them.
"Hannah, look at me." She says calmly. I look up at her and she gives me a soft smile when she sees the stained tears on my cheeks. "Look me in the eye and tell me you are not sick, you are not bad and you are definitely not wicked like they say."
"Why?" I ask her. I don't understand why I have to tell her when I don't even know if it's true. Maybe it is true maybe I am sick. Maybe Sarah really did bewitch me.
"So you believe in yourself too just like I do." She answers.
"Saying it doesn't directly make me believe."
"Look me in the eye and tell me." She keeps pushing.
I look her in the eye and take a deep breath.
"I am not sick, I am not bad, I am not wicked." I say quietly.
"What was that? I can't hear you." She tells me.
"I just told you."
"Say it louder. Like you mean it."
"I'm not sick, I am not bad and I am not wicked." I say a little louder.
"Louder." She tells me.
"No, stop it." I say and turn around wanting to walk away.
"Scream it!" She yells at me. "Yell at me like I'm your mother!"
"No! Stop!"
"Come on, yell at me!"
"I am not sick! I am not bad! I am not wicked!"
"Good! Now louder!"
"I am NOT sick! I am NOT bad! And I am NOT wicked!"
"LOUDER!"
I walk to her as I scream "I AM NOT SICK! I AM NOT BAD! AND I AM NOT WICKED!" Tears are streaming down my cheeks again as I watch her smile at me.
"Good." She says.
How bad I don't want to admit it, this did kinda feel like a relief to me. Yelling it out. It's like I actually did believe it for a second. Before I know it Lizzie's arms are wrapped around me again.
"Thank you, Lizzie." I tell her. She doesn't reply. We just stand there hugging each other.
