WE, WHO SIN UNDER STARDUST

☆ 007 ┊ laundry day

Another purr echoed in the room, and I look down only to find Fuku, a grumpy gray fluff ball. Ah, I overslept. He must be hungry already.

"Here you go, Fuku." I cooed before pouring a cup of his favorite kibble and Koneko cat milk that he never quite grew out of. The vet told me when he was a kitten that he won't like it after a few months, but here he is now, still crying whenever his milk is missing. Fuku ignored my presence all together once his food was served, and he starts gobbling down without a care in the world. I wonder what it would be like to be a cat.

I started my Sunday routine by gathering laundry all over my apartment. Why do I have so many when I did not even go out this week? I was barely attending classes too since I can't keep my mind straight. Anyway, I began by separating the colored ones from the white ones. I don't own a washing machine since I am not rich, and there is no space. My apartment is only composed of three small rooms; the small bedroom, a single bathroom which fortunately has a tub and a rather small living room that's cramped with a small sofa, a coffee table, a mini-fridge with a microwave on-top, a portable stove & a rice-cooker resting on a kitchen counter and a cheap television fitted inside a small shelf.

I took the clothes inside the bathroom where I would wash it by hand. It only took me an hour since it's only a few pieces and hung them on the tiny balcony on my bedroom overlooking the city. It's a sunny day outside, so it just makes me happy that they'll dry faster.

I was too lazy to cook a proper meal therefore, my breakfast consists of me boiling instant noodles in a cup, some left-over rice from last night, and frozen gyoza that I steam using the rice cooker. It's not much, but... it's not much.

By 9:30, I was eating breakfast while sitting on the floor so that I can level with the coffee table. The TV was on, and the Sunday talk shows are already rolling, but it wasn't my type since I might see Yūka there. I flipped through channels until I found Doraemon, and ended up watching it with a mix of nostalgia & heartbreak that I can barely swallow.

Yūka loved Doraemon when we were younger. She'd pull me along, and we'd sit way too close in front of the television every Sunday morning. She'd smile, holding my hand and we'd sing along to the opening. Halfway through, Grandma Harumi would catch us, and she'd scold us for ruining our eyes. When I think about it, I left Grandma Harumi too. I didn't even say goodbye to her when I left, and now, I refuse to see her. I'm such a horrible person.

I thought that this feeling will eat me up again. I tried my best to bottle it up throughout the week, but in the end, I just pushed everyone away because I like being alone when times are hard. That's weird, right? But I just don't want to bother anyone with my problems.

Fuku rolled his cute fluffy head across the sofa, and he purrs when he saw the look in my tired face. His soft pink paws were suddenly on my thigh before slithering his fat way to my lap. My hand touches his soft head. On normal days, he would have hissed, but maybe Fuku knew how I felt, so he didn't protest when I carried him like a baby and embraced him in all his warmth.

"Ah, Fuku." I say, feeling the tears well up by the brim of my eyes as I feel Fuku's soft fur, and the smell of his coconut cologne comes to me. "You're the only one who understands me."

I spent the rest of the day in isolation. My phone was blowing up either from college group mates, my weekend drinking buddies or just Shoko who can be such a worrywart sometimes. I'm fine. I told her about a million times until she finally said Okay, and left me
alone.

Spring was by its end as the warmth of summer noons can be felt by the blowing winds passing through the complex' rooftop where I smoked a cigarette while drinking my usual instant coffee. Feeling the nicotine on my lungs made me feel bad for pushing away Shoko.

After two sticks of Marlboro red, I went back to clean my apartment. Ask any girl, and they'll tell you it's a good distraction. I began with my bedroom, rearranged text books, pick-out old clothes to donate, wipe every surface, and sweep the floors. Then, the living room — mopping the floors, getting rid of the dusts, and finally washing the stack of dirty plates that's been in the sink for about three days now because my sadness is acting up, and it paralyzes me sometimes. Finally, the bathroom which is the worst part. By 3pm, I reeked of sweat & cleaning soap at the same time. Fuku even looked at me as if I gross him out. It's tiring, but at the same time — I feel my head clear up.

Showering afterwards felt like heaven before laying on my bed again with fresh clothes, and a tired body. My electric fan is turned to the highest setting, and I fell asleep immediately. By the time I woke up, it's already 7, and Fuku laid next to me.

I should go out, and buy myself something to eat. I haven't been taking care of myself lately, so maybe I should get like vegetables this time. Ugh, but I don't want to cook, and restaurant meals are expensive for my budget. Fine ! Convenience store it is! There's a 7/11 within walking distance here anyway.

I took the laundry hanging by my balcony first, folding them neatly before finally dressing up to buy food outside. I bet Fuku is hungry too, but Fuku always is. It's only the convenience store so I decided to go with a clean shirt, loose pants, and sandals. It's not like I have the energy to dress decent anyway. I should probably brush my hair, but what the hell—

I was already slipping on my sandals when there came a knock on the door. It's probably the landlord since I'm late with rent again this month. I was expecting another scolding, for me to beg again for an extension, but I opened the door, and the familiar azure heavens greeted me.

Gojo Satoru stood in front of my apartment. Nothing really changed — the same handsome face, the same carefree demeanor, and the same grin of someone with no problems with their day to day life. I envy him sometimes for that, but I'll never tell him.

"Hey..." What do you say exactly? As far as I remember, I specifically asked him to leave me alone. However, as he stood there, I felt the anger somehow subside.

"Good evening, Ao-chan. You ate dinner yet?" Satoru asked with the same smile as if he didn't just end things with me a few days ago. That's when I notice the bag he was carrying — take out from this one expensive restaurant he took me and Shoko to once. To be honest, I never liked upper class cuisine, but I appreciate the gesture.

Fuck me, and my empty wallet. I allowed my engaged ex-fling to stay.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE
while writing this, it made miss dorm life
during college (◡‿◡✿)
we were all broke, so we cook everything on
the rice cooker. it saves money for gas lol