GONER

4 • Spilled Coffee

Running a hand through my short hair, I spun around to come face to face with someone. And it was a boy. And he was staring at me like he couldn't believe that I was a real human being. And I just looked at him because I didn't know what to do.

It's not even that we were incredibly close to each other, but if I stuck my arm out, my fingertips would graze his chest. For some reason that I couldn't identify, I wanted to touch him.

"Um," he said quietly, and my eyes snapped back to the ground. "I-I'm Josh, and I know you're new. Right?" He asked me, and all I could do was nod. My mouth seemed to be filled with cotton balls, and I couldn't find it in myself to speak. Well, more like my mind couldn't make my mouth form words. Which was going to be a problem in the near future. My anxiety would need to find a place to rest if this day was going to go smoothly.

"Well, because everyone else in this school really kind of sucks, I'm here to help you find places," he smiled, and motioned to the paper in my slightly shaky fingers. The thing was, I didn't understand why his eyes crinkled around the corners when he smiled. Or why his eyes looked to be taking a different color when he did. They were a deep brown at first, but then he did that, and then they are nice butterscoth, and I tore my gaze away before he could mistake me for a weirdo. Not that it would be a mistake. It was incredibly cute and fascinating, though. And his fluffy red hair was great, too.

He grinned at me again before taking it from me gently. It took him a second to look over it, and, despite the quality, he clapped his hands. "Yay! You only have three classes up stairs, and one of them is with me. Actually you have almost every class with me, besides the two upstairs, which happen to be art and home economics."

At the thought, my heart starting to beat just a bit quicker. I had a lot of classes with him and I didn't know how to feel about that. Happy? Excited? Anxious? Scared?

I went with the last three.

"Okay," he said, motioning for me to follow him. "This is a pretty huge campus and so you might get lost, but I'll be here if you do."

If he smiles one more time, I'm going to fall down.

"Oh, alright, thanks." I was surprised at the confidence in my voice, though it was fake.

"For now, though, I'm just going to walk with you from class to class, because I know no one else is going to offer. Plus, you seem cool." My mouth twitched at that, for two reasons. First off, I wasn't cool. And, second, the fact that he said it made me want to scream. "Oh. Wait. I never caught your name."

"Tyler," I said, barely above a whisper. Something about introducing myself to people my age made me nervous. I don't know why. But I didn't know much at all, I guess. It was just something that happened.

"Well, Tyler, prepare yourself."

He didn't tell me what to prepare myself for, but I'm guessing he didn't need to. Maybe I would know soon enough.

After a bit of walking, we stopped outside of a door. Most of everyone was in class now, and there was only the few people that didn't care here. Some of them smirked at Josh and I, to which Josh flipped them off. I just kept my head down and suppressed a smirk.

"Why'd you do that?"

"You've got to earn the rights to stories," he sighed. "First class, World Studies. It sucks, but the teacher's okay."

And that's how the day went, up until lunch. I didn't have PE this semester, because, thankfully, it's only required half the year at this particular school. Instead of that, I had the Home Ec. class. That would be a struggle, though, because I couldn't cook or clean or do anything that you needed to pass that class.

Art was okay. The teacher was a pretty lady with short red hair, and a steady hand. Her class wasn't a cup of tea either, but lack of artistic ability definetly didn't help.

I didn't have my other electives until this afternoon, and I didn't know how to feel about that. Going up and down the stairs a million times is gonna suck, but I'll get over it.

Which brings us to lunch. I wanted to look for Josh, because he was the only person that bothered to talk to me today, but I didn't want to seem annoying. So I just went and sat down in the too-crowded cafeteria directly in the middle of everything, so that I could watch.

People ate, and people talked, and I wondered how they could do both. It amazed me that humans were built to concentrate on two things. But, then again, did it take focus to eat? Maybe it did for some, but it came as second nature to others. So they spoke and they chewed and I sighed by myself, not knowing what to do. I wasn't hungry, I never really was, and so I just tapped my delicate fingers on the table top, waiting for the lunch period to be over.

I was in the middle of it all.

"You're Tyler, right?" Someone asked, and I looked up to see a tall guy with greasy hair and a sly grin. Even his stance was cocky, and I just nodded. "What were you doing with Josh earlier?"

Sighing again, I shrugged, knowing where this was going. He was one of them in the hall this morning, and I didn't want to speak to him. My suspicions were confirmed when an entire table started chuckling and staring in our direction.

"Look, is there something you need?"

"I'm Dennis," he said, not even attempting to answer my question. "And I just wanted to welcome you to Whitman High School. Now, do you knew where Josh ran off to?" He didn't sound convincing with his welcoming, and I wasn't going to tell him where Josh was. But soon enough his eyes trailed upwards, a little ways above my head, and I wanted to smile. Perfect timing.

"For the love of God, Dennis," I heard a voice say from behind me, and I was happy to hear that it belonged to none other than Josh. It had a bit of amusement tinged to it, and it made me happy.

"Speak of the devil," Dennis muttered, and Josh came and sat down beside me, making the greasy-haired guy's eyes lower again.

"And here he is. Now what do you want?"

All he said was, "Ugh. Faggot," and left. My eyebrows raised by themselves when I heard that word. It was one of the only things a person could say that would make me want to hit them.

"Sorry about that," he laughed, shrugging. "Happens all the time."

"Why?"

"You've got to earn the right, Tyler."

He got a chocolate bar out of his pocket, and that ended the conversation. His eyes were trained somewhere that I couldn't find, but then he offered me a piece of his candy, and it was okay. Despite my lack of appetite, I took one, and let the sugar melt on my tongue. It tasted really good after eating the occasional cracker every one in a while, and I thought about things. Like what was up with him and Dennis, and why he was being nice to me. If he knew me, he would understand how much of a freak I was. But, I guess I'll just have to prolong his discovery of the real me.

***

A/N: I love this book a lot omfg.