911 x 911 Lonestar group chat!!

Promise

Marjan:
sorry buck.
ru ok?

Bucky🤷🏼‍♀️:
i have no idea

TK:
text me.
now.

private messages
TK - Buck

TK:
right come on then.
spill.

Buck:
jst lonely ig
i dont even know anymore

TK:
u know i care ab u right?
dont do anything stupid.
i mean it.

Buck:
yh man ik
i wont dont anything stupid
promise

TK:
i refuse to loose u..

Buck:
ur not gonna loose me

TK:
i better not
dumbass

Buck:
love u too

Buck is now offline.

I sent before shutting off my phone and placing it on my chest, looking up at my ceiling. I really didn't know if I was gonna be ok or not, just wanted to worry about Paul for the moment. I could feel and see my phone blowing up with messages from different people.

Judd:
hey dumbass
seriously
dont do anything stupid

TK:
buck?
pls be safe.
ill text u later man

Eddie🫶🏼:
TK texted me.
need me to come over for a bit?

No, I want to be alone. Is what I wanted to say but instead I just ignored it, not having much energy to respond anyways. I would see Eddie at work tomorrow and I could always text TK later if I needed too or wanted too.

I don't know what was going on with me lately, I was always tired and never had much energy for anything, my razor was becoming more appealing in different ways, my anxiety levels and sadness levels were always up a height and my body was starting to fail me as well. My eye bags sagging and my back hunched and never feeling hungry no more.

I spent a lot of time in bed and barely showered, the other day Eddie had to practically force me into the shower.

I don't deserve him.

He washed my hair and shaved my beard for me without complaining once, him and Chris were great but I still felt empty, like I was numb and couldn't stop the pain from intruding.

My therapist says that I'm going through something called 'a depressive episode', like I was having one of them. She likes to say that my personal feelings are like a rollercoaster, heightened by my ADHD which wasn't nice. I didn't like feeling like this and I wish I had something to stop these feeling but I don't and I can't stop them, it's natures course I guess.

I forced myself out of bed, chucking my phone behind me as I walked down the stairs and grabbed my shoes, heading straight for the living room. I put my converse on, stood up straight and grabbed my phone again, heading out the door to go grocery shopping even though I wasn't going to eat much of it.

~~time skip~~

30 minutes later and a whole hell of a lot of shopping I was back home, feeling a lot more tired and stressed out then I was before I went out. I practically kicked my door down and put the bags of the kitchen counter, not bothering to unpack them just yet because something caught my eye.

Eddie and Christopher.

"I texted you know." Eddie said, keeping his gaze on the tv.

"Didn't see it, sorry." I mumble, heading over to couch and sitting beside them both. Eddie grabbed my hand, giving it a quick squeeze before he let it go.

My phone continued buzzing and I couldn't deal with it anymore.

Bucky🤷🏼‍♀️:
guys for once in ur lives
stfu
pls n thank u

Marjan:
what's up w u?

Bucky🤷🏼‍♀️:
nothing
i'm having a quiet nice night in w my family.

Marjan:
awwweeee
u acc have feelings

TK:
who r u w

Bucky🤷🏼‍♀️:
eddie n chris
so im gonna go
see u guys later

bucky🤷🏼‍♀️ is now offline.