the things i wish i could say (out loud)

first.

i miss you in ways i didn't even know existed.
i miss you when it rains.
i miss you when there's a slight breeze in the warm air.
i miss you when the sun shines it's brightest.
i miss you when i wake up in the middle of the night.
i miss you when i gaze upon the moon and the stars.
i miss you when i get on TikTok.
i miss you when i hop onto Instagram every once in a blue moon.
most of all, i miss you when i'm alone.
not because i'm lonely, no, but because you're the only person i would want to fill that empty space.
i want your company,
i want your soft-spoken words,
i want your lips on mine in the quiet of the night where no one can bother us.
i miss you when it's just me.
i miss you when i am looking for comfort in the arms of another.
i want them to be you.
but none of them are.
maybe i miss you for a reason deeper than what i initially thought.
maybe.
but i miss you nonetheless.
and i look for you everywhere,
especially when i am alone.