My daily regret

Part -1- relentless

Author note: wrote this ff two years ago but honestly the plot twist is a mess, same for the vocabulary lol. So don't take it too seriously cuz I'm too lazy to delete it.

Loitsche, 8 October 1997.
7:20 a.m
I woke up like every morning 'cause of the curtains that my mom opened brutally.

mom : morning sweetheart! she said joyfully
y/n : morning mom. I whispered attacked by the daylight, the sun warms my skin quickly, today is going to be a long day.

My mom puts a little kiss on my forehead and left my room.

I sight and sat on the edge of the bed. Today is another day at school.

As every child going to school feel like being in jail, you can't do nothing without being judge by everyone, I really hate going there, but lately, an unusual hobby took over me.

I rubbed my eyeballs and start getting ready. I put on my clothes, brushed my hair and went downstairs to took my pack of cookies.

I turned the TV on and put some cartoon.

mom: Y/N! You've been watching your cartoons for 30 minutes, it's time to go!
y/n: YES MOM!

I took my schoolbag and left home.

When i arrived at school I saw my friends talking near the entrance, when i approached them i saw that there was a boy on the ground, it was that weird emo named Bill Kaulitz, my favourite moment was about to start.

He was part of a small group of weirdo that were annoying me for no reasons at all, I just like making fun of them, initially it was just little jokes but it ended  as a daily harassment.

He was on the floor saying: "Stop hitting me, I've done nothing" one of my classmate throw a plastic bottle full of water on his head as an answer.

cleo: "If you keep talking, we're going to attack your lovely twin and the rest of your little band"

As he had no choice he let himself be done, i guess he wanted to protect his band of weirdo.

y/n: "Bring Tom too"

I plant pencils in his hand, he cried with all his strength. All of this became a routine, all because of what? because they wanted to create a rockband and be famous.

I'm laughing just thinking about it, this crazy idea arouses a sense of mockery.

I mean you should take a look at...them.

Every day it was the same thing for them, teasing, insults and blows. once gustav and Tom were hiding in the toilet and some students went up on the doors and threw them pieces of paper with insults, and throwing them hot water on their face.

But one day everything changed, the whole group was absent, it was very weird.

The same afternoon, our teacher told us that the 4 students: Tom and Bill Kaulitz, Georg Listing and Gustav Shäfer had left the school and that one of them tried to commit suicide.

its remind me my father who hanged himself when I was 5 years old, and since that day I promised myself to never harass someone again. 

but this news made my classmates laugh but I became sick with it, realizing that it was all my fault, but it was too late to do anything.

when I got home I vomited and it drove me crazy for months, knowing that never my apology can't be accepted after all the harm I did.

Today I'm moving to another city in German, I'm going to Berlin! 4 years have passed, I'm 12 years old, soon it's back to school and I'm a little bit apprehensive, I'm afraid of how thing are going to be.

My mom is very supportive  and it's helping me a lot.

4 years have passed since the departure of the lil'  rockgroup, I never thought again about harassing someone, what I've done was really bad and I regret so bad.

I wonder what they have become...

Berlin, 27 August 2001.
6:30 a.m.

I didn't sleep well at all, I was way too nervous. I dressed up, brushed my hair and went downstrairs waiting for my mom.
I didn't eat 'cause I felt nauseous due of the stress.

My mom drove me to school and tried to cheer me up. She drops me off in front of the school,  I felt like my guts were twisting as I cross the gate leaving my mother behind me.

The school was really big, It was impressive, I entered my respective class and sat down, I was analyzing all the people that were entering the class. The bell rang, were we go.

Teacher: Today we welcome a new student, her name is y/n.
I smiled timidly.
Everything felt so strange, I've spent all my childhood with the same people, being with different classmates in a new place was new to me and I don't like this feeling, I feel lost.

The math class started and while I was looking around I noticed a cute boy, I could only his profile, he looked so peaceful and confident, but I decided to focus on the lesson and the instructions the teacher gave, it was the first day of return so we had to move the books to distribute them.

Teacher: "If you have any questions come to me, Tom and Naya can you help y/n with the boxes please? "

"Tom Tom Tom" My heart start racing by hearing the cute boy's name, I fell like I know him, but for where? i was far from knowing that this meeting  would change my life.

suddenly this knot in my stomach tightened stronger when I saw him come to me.

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