Book Growth and Review. (FORMS CLOSED)

🐻👺The Merciless Beast 👺🐻

Right now it's 1pm and I'm enjoying a bowl of cereal. Tho lunch is ready, I'd prefer to have some breakfast

The third book on the review is The Merciless Beast by Emerald_666666

Question to the members :
Erica knows alot of languages, an educated young woman. Out of all the languages Erica knows, which language would you like to learn.
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Though it's not necessary for other members to read the review, I'd advise them to as they may find some helpful things to improve their own story

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I want you to know that the review is my honest opinion, I am not a professional reviewer, just a person who loves reading

My brother, Ash, will be reviewing the books aswell, I thought it'd be good to have more than one person giving feedback.

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Title:
Maria: 7/10

There isn't much of a problem with the title of the story, the only problem I have with it will be discussed in the character section.

Ash: 6/10

Its a good tittle but it does lead to assumptions as to what the story is about. Make sure that your story does live up to it's title otherwise it's just a label slapped on as an afterthought

Cover
Maria: 6/10

The cover isn't all bad, the only eyesore is the neon being used in it. Neon is not used in romances. The font is also something that should be a bit softer, maybe cursive or something much more gentler.

Ash: 3/10

The glow of the letters and the overall darkness of the cover makes it extremely unpleasant to look at. There are too many words on the cover it's off-putting to try to see what's going on.

Blurb
Maria: 5/10

the blurb is way too long. Remember the blurb is not supposed to be a whole analysis or summary of the story, it's supposed to be used to draw in readers. You're supposed to buy the readers with the blurb. Think yourself "if I was a reader with this blurb make me read the book".

Ash 3/10

the Blurb is too wordy. It's not really pulling my attention and is too long to try and get through. The big words threw everything off

Plot
Maria 5/10

the plot needs a whole lot of work as it isn't very strong. Emerald do you know where you want to end up with the story because to me it seems like you don't know where you are or where you going with it. I might be wrong but it seems that way. Your story seems like a whole lot of one shots put together into one book and you have to work on that. There hasn't been any progress in the story and none of the things in the chapters influences what happens in the next. In other words you aren't getting anywhere. If I'm being honest the plot you have is extremely cliché and used over and over again. I did some thinking and thought of something that would hopefully push you into the direction of finding a proper plot.

Close your eyes, think of your characters and have a conversation with them. Ask them "who are you Erica Jade. what do you want. who do you want."
do this to all of your character Steven, Erica Sasha, Linda and once you get your answers work on your plot. Erica needs drive and stakes.
here is an example maybe Erica wants to save up money to get out of her mother's house but what's the goal of Steven? Find love? Take down a rival business?
Your story needs goals and stakes.