Force Of Gravity

Part 1

"You stupid naive girl," he chuckles coldly with no humor. " Did you really think i felt anything for you? Are you that gullible?" he laughs as he stomps away from me, shaking his head, no absolutely not! he won't get off that easily, i angrily stomp after him to where he is now sitting on a box, hanging his head "No! you don't get to just throw everything that we did and everything i know we both felt out the window just because for whatever reason you're terrified of feeling any sort of emotion other than anger!" i was positively fuming at this point, furious that he would even try to deny the feeling and emotions i know we both felt, i take a scowling look at his face and prepare myself for the perpetual glare that always rests on his face, but i'm surprised to actually see emotion on his face, he looks so torn and hurt and confused, my heart aches a little at the sight, this man who tries so hard to portray himself as someone who doesn't give a crap about anything or any one other than himself looks so...broken "i refuse to believe that you felt nothing these last few weeks, i know you feel the same way i do, you can't fake the rawness of the words you spoke to me, the conversations we had laying in the dark at 2am, i don't believe that was all fake!" in a softer tone, almost a pleading tone i add " i don't want to believe it" i rest my forehead against his, both of our breathing ragged and labored from the flood of emotions going through us, after a few minutes he looks up at me through red and swollen eyes, i can see the internal battle going on in his head, i rest a shaking hand on his cheek as he leans into it, nuzzling my palm "tell me it wasn't fake, please just tell me what's going on in your head" he straightens and i worry i pushed him to far and he is going to leave, but then he looks at me and takes in a deep breath, " i'm scared to open myself up, to let people into my heart that are just going to break it" i'm about to object, tell him i'm not gonna hurt him or leave him when he cuts me off "i know you're gonna tell me you're not gonna break it or leave me but i've let too many people into my heart who said the same thing" his voice crack makes my heart ache "then they walked out and left the pieces of my heart lying on the floor" he keeps his eyes down, refusing to meet my own, i don't know what the right words are, i don't know what to say to make this better, to make him understand that i'm not going anywhere, to make him understand that i'm not like him...i can't use words to make him believe, so i'm going to use my actions, "kiss me" i say softly, his eyes meet mine in shock, he holds my stare for 20 seconds then like being snapped out of a trance, he leans forward, grabbing my jaw firmly, his soft lips fall on mine with a force strong enough to knock the breath out of my lungs and make me stumble backwards, his arm latches around my waist to keep me steady as our mouths mold and move together, after a few breathless minutes we pull apart both breathing ragged, he looks at me smirking "well 'Mo Cara,
you sure know how to make someone feel better" he says in that charming irish accent, we both giggle, then his tone turns more serious, and he looks vulnerable and almost scared again, "please promise me you're not going anywhere, promise you're not going to break my heart" i suck in a breathe, " i can't promise i'll never leave, i can promise you i don't want or intend to leave but i won't promise i'll never leave, if you continue to shut me out over and over again" i take a deep and grounding breathe to give myself the courage to say what i need to " i won't stay in a relationship like that, where you're constantly screaming at me and shutting me out, i love you but i know what i deserve in a relationship, so, no i will not promise to never leave, but i promise i am willing to work on things to make this work" i look into his eyes to try and see what he is feeling but when i look at him he looks shocked and...hopeful? "What?'' i say confused, filtering through everything I just said to see what has him so stunned. "You love me?" Oh no.....i hadn't even realised that i admitted to loving him but might as well be completely truthful "i've been in love with you since we were fourteen, you were just too dumb to see it" i say half jokingly half honestly, remembering lying awake at night thinking about him and just hoping that one day he would realize how i felt about him and feel the same, little did i know that ten years later i would be sitting here kissing and telling that same boy how i felt about him... he stares into my eyes for a while before saying "i'm gonna try to be better, and that starts here so i'm gonna be honest with you, i've loved you since i was seventeen Irelyn, I knew you liked me back then but i didn't think i deserved your love or you then and honestly i don't feel like i do now, and i was terrified of bringing you into my life, knowing how my dad was, i was scared that if i brought you into my life that he would hurt you too, as it was everytime i mentioned you he either told me i would never be good enough for you or tell me to bring you home so he could "have some fun with you" in his words" he looks nauseous just at the mere thought of his dad and his dad being anywhere near me, the look on his face is enough to make me forget wha he just told me for about twenty seconds then his words sink in, he loved me! all those years spent thinking that he thought of me as nothing more than his awkward best friend, when really we were both too blind to see that we both felt the same way; we're just sitting there staring at each other when we start to feel raindrops hit our faces, it feels like a scene from a movie when it starts to pour rain, we both start giggling at the utter cliche of this whole scene.