Worlds Apart

Chapter 6: Emotions Are For Children

By the time morning rolled around, I could barely move. My muscles ached as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror and counted each bruise that littered my weak body. But nothing could compare to the pain that I felt down below. As I got dressed, every little detail hit me like a brick. And I also remembered that Laurie was out of the city that day to drive her brother Upstate. 

The first time I saw Ryder that day was after homeroom as I walked past him in the corridor. He looked at me the same as he did every other day. Like nothing had happened. In that moment, I tried to believe that maybe it had all been a dream. But then I recalled the image of myself standing in front of the mirror and I knew it was true. He'd hurt me more than Miles ever had. 

Basketball practice took place on the court that day, though we only had a half-court due to the cheerleaders' practice that was going on at the same time. I mainly sat on the sidelines, making the excuse that I fell and busted my knee. It wasn't exactly the truth but a little white lie never hurt anybody. 

I waited in the changing room until everyone had left before I pulled off my long-sleeved jersey. Then I heard a gasp that scared me so much that I nearly fell over. "Get out! Leave!" Through my blind rage, I realized that I had just yelled at Natalia Castiello. Now I was in for it. Or, so I thought. She just turned around and left.

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English class was the only place I wanted to be in that moment. A relaxed teacher and a calm class. Only... I didn't make it there because Miles shoved my shoulder as I was grabbing my books and I ended up falling into the block of lockers. "Sorry. You were in my way, fag." His friends laughed but I wasn't paying any attention to them because the most shocking thing I saw that day was Natalia not laughing with her dumb boyfriend. She didn't even look smug. I couldn't read her face for the first time.

Then I heard Miles' goofy chuckle and I couldn't help myself. "Do you have a problem with me? Or is it a little crush? 'Cause I heard that's what little boys do when they like a girl, they beat on 'em."

"As if I'd ever like you." His voice was lower as he stepped closer to me.

"So, what's the problem? Mama not treat you right?"

"Don't talk about my Mom or I'll break your jaw." And I thought I had issues with my anger.

I pulled my cross up to my lips and whispered, "Forgive me, Father." I punched him with all my strength. Miles fell back onto the floor with a stunned look on his face. He couldn't believe it and neither could anyone else, including me. "Thought I'd do it first."

"Fucking slut! You're fucking dirty. Don't touch me!" He hastily got back to his feet and pummeled my face. 

"You touched me first! Who knows where the fuck you've been." 

"You're a fucking bitch, you know that?"

I placed my hands over my chest with a sad face before my act dropped. "Ouch! This isn't the first time I've been told, asshole. But thanks for the reminder." He went to throw another punch but for some reason, unbeknownst to me, he stopped himself.

"What, you think I can't take a punch?" And then he nearly broke my nose. "I guess I can." By this point, my nose was pouring but it didn't stop me from lunging forward and kneeling on top of Miles. I heard a snap from his jaw and I couldn't believe that I had broken it. 

Before I could break another bone, I was pulled off of him by a teacher. I can't remember which one but I do remember her shrill voice screaming at me. "Miss. Marcano, go to the Principle's office! And everybody else, get back to class!"

I leaned over, still on the floor, and spat the blood from my mouth onto the tiles before getting up and storming off. Emilio was in the crowd standing beside Ryder. He tried to stop me but I walked into the bathroom and there was nothing he could do.

The blood from my nose dripped into the sink as I stared into the mirror. It was just my luck. "Laurie's gonna kill me," I spluttered, the blood now flying everywhere. Then I heard the squeak of the door behind me and I could see Natalia's reflection. 

"What the fuck was that?"

"You are aware that your precious boyfriend is out there, not in here."

"I know. He's with the EMTs. You nearly broke his jaw." That's a shame. 

"Well, then his face shouldn't have been in the way of my fist. And anyway, he started it."

"Yes, and you definitely ended it." She rolled her eyes as she always did. 

"Just leave. Go coddle your boyfriend." She ignored me – no surprise there – and walked past me to the sinks, wetting some tissues and standing back in front of me. She started to wipe my face but the pain made me wince. 

"Hold still and it'll hurt less." She was somewhat gentler than she had ever been. I knew what it was. Pity. And I wanted none of it. "Are you going to tell me where you got those bruises on your body? Or do I have to guess? 'Cause we both know full well that Miles didn't put those there."

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Don't play dumb with me."

"Just mind your own damn business." I pushed her away and walked to the Principle's office. I was expecting hundreds of eyes on me but the halls were empty and there was still blood smeared across the floor.

I got suspended for a week because of that fight. Miles received the same punishment and he was far less satisfied with the week off than I was. When I got home, Charlie was somewhat sober enough to help me with the lacerations to my face and re-wrap my hand from last night's glass shard incident. 

Once she was appeased with her handiwork, she pulled out a little bag from underneath the couch and offered it up to me. "It'll take the edge off."

"Come on." I pushed her hand away and stood up. "You know I don't touch that shit."