Reality Check

Same shit diff toliet

Lena reached for her phone to silence the awful iphone alarm. Her arm flopped down off the side of the bed resting her knuckles on the cold hardwood floor. Her body sinking deeply into the mattress. Dread washed over her body as she prepared to get up and start the day. Which felt more like a never ending loop or ride she couldn't get off. The second snooze alarm rang again and she sat up to turn it off, no longer able to procrastinate any longer. She let out a long breath and she sleepily walked to the bathroom to start the water. Lena was one of the stereo typical "lonely" people who take unnecessarily long hot showers. The internet claims it makes up for lack of warmth in one's life, and as you know if the internet says it, it must be true.

   Maxing out the time she could be in the hot shower before being late for work Lena filled her coffee tumblr with coffee she made yesterday; splashed in some creamer and headed for the door. Lena put in her air pods in her ears and searched her spotify for something to soothe the mood. She had about a 30 minute commute to work and she could absolutely not do it without her music drowning her ears. Lena sat down at the bus stop brushing her back of her hand across her forehead where Florida's brilliant humidity had started to make her damp. It was still better than being cold. She mindlessly opened a few apps and closed them shortly after. She pulled down her notification bar clearing the bullshit that wastes her time. Lena wished she had someone to shoot back and forth bantering text messages with. "Morning, hope you're starting your day better than mine. The stop smells like piss." But Lena had left all of her friends back west when she moved to Florida. Not that she couldn't text them but the longer she had been in Florida the harder it was to keep texting up with people you haven't seen. Until it was maybe once in a while conversations.

    The bus had arrived and Lena picked a seat with the most space from other people. She hated being in anyone's gaze. Like really, enraged her. So she always held a cold, unapproachable demeanor to deflect possibilities of people interacting with her. She heard some muffled talking and could feel someone looking at her. She heard the muffle again. She tried to pretend like she didn't know or couldn't hear for long as possible in hopes that person would give up and notice it wasn't going to happen. But, of course not. There is always one person where ever she goes that cannot read her ever so closed off body language. With a tap on the shoulder she finally jerked her head to the seat diagonally behind her. She pulled out an air pod. The man looked unfazed at what she thought was a displeased look on her face. "I don't mean to bug you but i've never seen you take this route before." He smirked in a way she knew exactly what he really means. He had a unshaven face with hard dark brown eyes. He ran his fingers through his hair slicking his slightly greasy hair back as he contemplated on what to say next. Lena was still holding her air pod waiting for the interruption to end. "What are you listening to?" Lena fake smiled. "Podcast."
He fidgeted with his button on his shirt, eyes never leaving Lena. "I've always wanted to try podcasts before. What is it about?"
Lena expired from this interaction and replied sarcastically. "It's a podcast about people experiencing unwanted social interactions on public transportation." Put her air pod back in and gave a fake smile before turning back to look out the window, turning up her music. The next stop the man got up to get out, but not without calling her a bitch.

    Lena arrived to work 10 minutes early. This always felt like a must for her. She wasn't like the people who could arrive to work and in that exact moment be ready to get right into work. She always needed those few minutes to mentally prepare. When she moved to Florida she lost her job market opportunities. There was little job opportunities compared to out west. She worked in a local grocery store. She hated it, but it did pay well. Everyday blended into the next. Waking up to do the same thing over and over again drives her nuts. She clocked in for the day passing by many of her coworkers. She wondered if they ever thought about her or grew curious. She didn't socialize much and coming into work she always had a hard resting bitch face. Only for the dread of the lowly, unchallenging work she did.