Valyrei was my best friend. She was my older sister. She was bossy like all older sisters are, but she was also the most caring person I had ever met in my entire life. She was also the only person who understood my family; because of that, she was the only person who ever understood me. She didn't ice me out as many older sisters do once they grow into teenagers. We were always close. I remember frequent sleepovers even after she graduated high school. Sleepovers were our little tradition. We would gossip until all hours of the night, talking about our parents or my latest boyfriend. We would eat junk food and bond over our mutual obsession of the "book boyfriends" we had (really just characters in the novels that we read). We had one every weekend; sometimes we would even sneak into each other's rooms during the week, much to our parents' dismay.
I was 15 when she died.
I remember feeling like my whole world stopped. I couldn't possibly understand. The night before, we had one of our unapproved sleepovers. It was a random Friday morning. She told me that she couldn't handle our parents anymore, that the pressure was driving her nuts. The thing is, that wasn't out of the ordinary. Those are things that she always used to say. Those are things that I always used to say. We slept in the same bed. I remember falling asleep to the sound of her breathing, as I had so many times before. The next morning, I had no idea that things would change. I had no idea that this would be the last sleepover. That the Eidothea sisters wouldn't exist anymore. Since she had graduated, she didn't have school that morning. I, on the other hand, snuck out of her room early in the morning to get ready for school.
She took her own life that day.
I came home from school to a note that I could have never expected.
Phebei,
You have made my world so bright. You have always been a star. I know that this will come as a surprise, and I'm sorry that you have to be the one to find me like this. I meant what I said last night. This is all a little too much for me. You know how I feel about our life, how isolated I have felt. I know you feel that way sometimes too, but it has always been more constant for me. I need you to know that you were always the light at the end of the tunnel for me. You were why I hung on tight for so long. Mom and dad have known how I have been feeling for a long time. Truthfully, I don't think they ever took me seriously. My only hope for you is that one day you can escape in a way I never could. You deserve to shine. I'm sorry. You deserve a sister, but I can't do it anymore.
I'll be rooting for you forever, always with you even if I'm not there.
I love you,
Valyrei
I screamed. I dropped the note and I raced up the stairs to her room. I could smell her perfume. If I could smell her, she couldn't be gone. At least that's what I thought. But she wasn't in the bedroom.
I found her eventually. I won't go into the details, but she was cold by the time I found her. I held her in my arms. I kissed her forehead. My tears fell onto her face. I closed her eyes. I held her and I sobbed until my parents returned home, late in the night.
They screamed, but not for the same reasons as I did. They screamed at each other. They screamed at me. Why had I not called an ambulance? Why had I just sat there and let her die?
I held her and I rocked until I couldn't hear the voices anymore.
There were no more Eidothea sisters. I was alone.
