in the name of taylor swift

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"Baby," You huff dramatically as Vada walks through the door to your bedroom, "I'm glad you're here. We have to break up."

Vada halts. She blinks, her brown eyes widening as her entire face falls. Her hands fall limp by her sides. She'd arrived, not two minutes ago, while you were toiling in bed, thinking seriously. Clutching a twelve inch record in your hands and deciding some things just had to be done.

"What?" She asks, sounding crestfallen, "But I got you flowers."

She gestures to the stack of lilies she has in hand. She looks wounded, confused, hurt. Like a little puppy you've just kicked in the face.

Immediately, you sit up, heart falling.

"No, babe," You retract, reaching out to her. She blinks back at you, eyes as wide as chocolate buttons, "I wasn't being serious. Not a real breakup. A fake breakup. A fake-up."

Now, she's confused. Her eyebrows knit together as you watch as she tries to work it out.

"A fakeup?" She repeats, blinking slowly, "Why?"

You tilt your head back to reveal your latest purchase. A shiny, purple vinyl of Taylor Swift's latest record.

"Taylor Swift just released an album and I need to experience it in full." You say, quite seriously. You are serious when it comes to Taylor Swift. You'd thought Vada would know this by now.

Vada stares.

Your lips purse into a coo as you pry the lilies from her hand.

"You got me flowers?" You say, rubbing your hand over her cheek, "That's so sweet."

She smiles, a little shy.

"Yeah. The lilies you like." She says, and then she frowns again, "But I'm confused. Why does Taylor Swift mean we have to fake break up?"

"Because I need to be sad, babe," You explain as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, "I need to feel pain the way she felt pain when she wrote these songs."

"Doesn't she have a nice song?" Vada asks, a little dubious.

"No," You say immediately, "I mean, yes, but I'm saving those ones for when we get back together."

"But we're not apart." Says Vada, still confused.

You can't resist. You lean down and press a kiss to the pout on her lips.

"We are as of now." You tell her. You exhale, close your eyes and try to think of Vada breaking up with you. A sharp pain flashes through your chest. You imagine her looking mournful as she does it. Stuttering over her words. Looking almost embarrassed as she tells you she never wants to see you again.

It works, for a split second.

And then you open your eyes.

She's staring back at you, looking sweet as ever. Tilts her head like a confused puppy.

"Say something mean," You prompt.

She frowns.

"No," She says, "I don't want to."

"Babe," You groan, "I need you to make me sad."

"I don't want to make you sad," She says. She leans into you and wraps her arms around your waist, snuggling into your chest, "I want you to be happy all the time."

You groan. In all your grand-scheming plans, you'd forgotten you were dating a literal ray of sunshine. A golden retriever of a girlfriend who'd never gotten mad at you, or said nasty things about you, or even had a bad thought about you in her life.

But you need this.

"Please?" You ask, smoothing down her dark hair to look into her eyes, "For me?"

Vada frowns. She'd do anything you ask, this you know. And it's hardly a big ask. All she'd have to do is tell you she never wants to see you again and you'd cry and listen to 'Last Kiss' and pretend as if your entire world is crumbling.

And then have vigorous make-up sex to 'Sparks Fly'. A win-win, truly. A rollercoaster of emotions.

You squeeze her shoulders in encouragement.

"Okay," Vada says, sounding resigned. Her eyebrows knit like she's thinking hard, "I... don't like your shoes."

At this, you snort.

"You don't like my shoes?" You ask, "That's the meanest thing you could think of?"

She looks up at you, pout still on her lips.

"Yeah," She says. She curls back into your chest, "Because you're perfect and there's nothing mean to say about you."

She pauses.

"And I actually do like your shoes," She mumbles into your chest, "I'd steal them if we were the same size."

You sigh, wrapping your arm around her shoulders and lean down to kiss her head.

"How am I supposed to listen to the album when you're being so sweet?" You grumble.

"We could listen to the nice songs together?" Vada pitches with a happy smile. And then her lips curl into a coy smile, "And then we could listen to the naughty songs and make out."

"There's no naughty songs, babe, it's Taylor Swift." You say with a laugh.

"Oh," She looks a little disappointed, "Well, maybe we could make out to the sad songs and pretend like we just got back together?"

You hum.

Making out with Vada does sound a lot better than fake breaking up with her. She emphasizes her point with a kiss to your chest.

"Fine." You relent, leaning down to press your lips to hers.

She sighs, happily, curling her hand against the back of your neck to pull you closer.

"I hope you can rest easy knowing I'll never experience the blood-curling pain Taylor Swift felt writing 'Dear John'." You grumble against her lips.

She pulls back, a smile on her lips, "Good," She says, "And you never will. I promise."

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⏰ Última atualização: Jul 15, 2023 ⏰

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