BLITZ'S POV:
*The next day work, he was still bugged about yesterday the words,"I love you" kept replaying in his head. He would read the text again but still not manage any response, it was like he was too scared to say anything bc he doesn't even know how to feel- it wouldn't matter to most to hear those 3 special words but to him it was more than just three words- he'd finally text back,"Can you home to I.M.P?."*
STOLAS POV:
*He opened the text and responded "sure!" He got all excited and dressed up, not too obvious but different than a normal day, he could've took his time but he was too excited soon he arrived at I.M.P Moxxie and millie telling him blitz was in his office he was curious to what this is about. He walked to blitz's office and knocked gently then opened the door and walked in closing the door behind him* "Hi stolas." *is what he was greeted with as he entered.* "Good morning blitz, what do you need to talk about?" *He sits down.*
MIXED POV'S SO JST ENJOY IG
B:"I wanted to talk about the text, and stuff in general. Stolas I don't think you should love me, maybe your just confused on your actual feelings for me and are mixed up but I don't think you should love someone like me."
S:*he stared at Blitz shaking his head and awkwardly smiling* "what do you mean..?" *his expression changed to serious/ concerned in under a second. before blitz could say something he shut him off and words flew out of his mouth like a waterfall* Blitz... Are you serious?? What do you mean i shouldn't love you.. Your the best demon I've ever met! You're the most understanding, loving and caring imp I've ever met!! I'd kill to be with u, someone like you is perfect for me! How could my feelings be mixed up?? You're the only one I love.." *he sighed softly and started fidgeting with his hands awaiting his response*
B: *He was serious, as his face changed to a frown as tears started to form in the corner of his eyes- he was trying hard not to cry.* "I'm more selfish, annoying and stupid than anything, I let it to this point.. I let you open up to me in a romantic way.. a way of l-..love." *He would shiver at the word love.* "I'm not deserving of love, especially a Goetia princes.. I would ruin your reputation and I already humiliated you at Ozzie's.." *He said, as tears started to run down his cheeks- he never cries in front of ppl especially stolas why was he doing it now? Why couldn't he just hold back his feelings? He questioned himself as he continued to speak.* "I don't want to hurt you like how I did other people.. I don't want to open myself up again because I hate the feeling of being crushed.. I hate the feeling of losing someone even if you might deserve it. I made so many mistakes and I got payback on so many ppl- angering them in the process causing them to hate me.. you'll hate me just as much if I let this relationship happen." *He said, his voice cracked as he broke down into tears, as he would hide underneath his desk feeling like he just humiliated himself as he brings his knees close hugging them comforting himself in a way, he felt like a homeless child, scared and alone on the streets wanting nothing more than Love everything just brings him back to that fucking word doesn't it he would start to cry whether stolas was still there or not covering his face with his hands- it was difficult to accept love and what he needs Bc he always thought to himself that he didn't deserve it now he is stuck in a place where he had to either get over it or break someone's heart again it was a troubling decision, a hard choice Why did he feel the need to be this way Why does he let himself think back to the past Let those old words sink in.. how they buried deep into his skin- how the echoing voices of his past relationships kept doing a replay in his head it will never go away Will it? He questioned himself, starting to forget that stolas was still there as he spaces out in his own thoughts overthinking everything- his thoughts eating him alive, as he was starting to go through even more denial, when will the acceptance get its chance to make an appearance to be his second option?- he didn't know, he was still grasping onto old memories and what bothered him then still bothers him now. It's everlasting memories and feelings, that he had grown unhealthily attached to. He refused help in the past, Therapy was never gonna be a good option for him and nor was getting actual medical help for his obvious psychological & drinking issues. He didn't know what to do, everything was again taking a negative downward spiral and he felt like a fucking fool. Humiliated. Like a damn CLOWN. He could hear faint voices he couldn't tell who they belonged to Bc he was drowning into his own thoughts still keeping his face covered- as he feels someone hugging him tightly, he took a peek it was Moxxie?- Moxxie out of all the people, the person he treated like trash was trying to comfort him as Moxxie would tell him to stay put in which where would blitz go? Moxxie would go to the break room to make some tea and get blitz some snacks, Moxxie figured since tea was sort of calming method maybe he could try making some for blitz- meanwhile blitz remained in the same spot, he felt humiliated, he felt like an attention seeker and that he was overreacting but he couldn't move - and he couldn't speak he was defeated staying in the same huddled up spot hugging his knees close as he had his face covered still- he heard the whispering between Moxxie and Millie, which made him feel worse what if they thought of him as weak?- this was humiliating, fucking humiliating..- he got up quickly as he hurried out of there hitting into a wall on his way out which put him in some pain but he didn't care he kept running, as he headed to the van at a fast pace Now he thought he was being overdramatic and even more of an attention seeker, he got into the van starting it as his angrily punched his steering wheel- he started to drive, he wasn't thinking straight at all he just needed a drink or two and a couple smokes- he didn't care if he was still in his work clothes, he headed straight to a club where one drink turned into two and two turned into several- as he started to flirt around the club with a few others demons and such, forgetting that he was upset to begin with and completely getting his mind off things- he'd rather drink away his problems rather than face them but it's blitzø and he likes to run especially from his problems.. that's what he does best- he was making out with a lot of random ppl, and drinking in between bc he hasn't quite reached his limit yet eventually he was forced to leave the club since he was absolutely wasted and he couldn't even stand on his own two feet he would lay on the sidewalk mumbling words and laughing he has yet to throw up he wasn't able to drive and if he did he wouldn't last 2 minutes on the road without crashing into someone or something.*
(TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE??)
