Angel and Hellfire

Chapter 14

"Then she noticed all the people in the front lobby! Oh Lordy, it was priceless!!" Helen laughed so hard (y/n) thought she was going to fall over in her chair!
"Wait a minute, you're trying to tell me that (y/n) not only made it out of her room, but down the sidewalk, passed by the pool, and straight into the lobby before she realized she forgot her pants!! No way! She was always hounding us to make sure we had all our clothes as kids. That's not possible!!" Sam said in between breaths and laughter.
Meanwhile (y/n) was red as a tomato trying to hide her face in the table and not laugh at her own stupidity while Hallie kept shoving bites of pie in her mouth. Helen continued on with the story while the boys and David almost choked on their food laughing.
"And then, AND THEN!!! Heather snapped a picture!! Wanna see it?!" She was almost yelling as she ran for the picture.
"Mama no! Oh god please no!" (Y/n) tried to get up and go after her but David held her back in her seat.
"Ah just let it happen (y/n). She never gets to have company outside of people in town so let her have this one. Plus the picture is funny as hell! Even you laugh at it and you know it!" David couldn't stop laughing as Helen came bounding back into the room with a whole box full of pictures to show the boys.
"Fine, fine you're right she gets to do this whenever she wants. I'm not gonna stop her. She's too happy." She laughed so hard at Helen's face as she dug through the box.
The boys thought this was hilarious finding out other people also got to see her awkward side once in a while. (Y/n) was laughing at something david just said while her and Hallie stuffed each others faces with different pies. Dean watched her closely and wondered why she wouldn't want to leave here. She seems to be happy. And Hallie loves her being around. She has a great relationship with david and Helen too. So what makes her want to leave?
Dean looked down at the pictures Helen pulled out and couldn't stop laughing. By the time she was done with memory lane, Helen was laughed out. Dean looked over to see Hallie covered in pie and (y/n)'s shirt. They still couldn't stop laughing and David said he would take Hal to get a bath quick.
"Nah that's ok, I'm filthy too so I'll give her one instead. Come on baby! Let's get soaped!"she said And they took off running upstairs to Hallies bathroom.
"Alright, someone has to tell me what happened. Something isn't right with (y/n). I can see it and I know you can too. What's going on?" Dean suddenly asked very seriously to Helen and David.
"Yeah we noticed it too, Dean." David said with a sigh.
"She's been like that since she got home from vacation. We can all tell something happened but don't wanna press the issue. She is itching to get back out on tour though. She's like a caged dog right now and it's hard to watch." David went on to say to the boys who looked a little worried.
"Boys, she needs you right now. What she is dealing with inside her right now, we've never experienced... but I have a feeling you have. I'm going to give you my number. I want you to call me with any updates on her condition. She is a little out of sorts. And leaving so early in the morning isn't going to help very well, as much as we would love for her to say goodbye to our faces once in a while." Helen looked very weary and sad talking about it.
"Why does everyone think she's leaving tomorrow? And she goes on tour?? What is she touring?" Sam asked slightly confused.
"No we all know she leaves to go on a hunt. But for the kids, we say she's going on tour. They think she's some sort of crazy rockstar right now." David said with a chuckle.
"She will leave early in the morning though. We know that much. Just wait." Helen said matter of factly.
"Ok, so no one knows what happened to her? Can someone tell me the whole story about why she went out of the country?" Dean asked, hopeful for answers.
"Oh we can definitely fill you in on that one. The guy from last night? That's her ex boyfriend. He wasn't a good person. It was a long time before she got away from him. He did horrible things to her without any of us knowing. She was going through a dark period in her life right then. We're not even sure what caused that one either..."
Dean knew. And he still can't believe he said half the things he did to her that day.
David and Helen both began to explain what they knew about her past with Jason and only what they were told by her from vacation.
"A while after she got there, she started telling Heather about a guy she met over there named Arthur. Said he was an amazing person. Very kind. Gentle person. Nothing like Jason. She would check in about once a month with heather and the other girls through phone calls and texts. But not much more. Said she wasn't sure about coming back to the states because she loved it over there so much. We understood that one completely. What we didn't understand was the way she came back after heather died. At first we figured it was everything to do with her death. But we can all feel it. There's something wrong. Something happened to her over there and she's not telling anyone. I mean, when she healed herself last night, it's like her entire body was banged up. We know that didn't happen with those vampires. She's hiding something." David and Helen finally settled back in their chairs from pacing the floor.
Dean and Sam looked at each other. Sam confused, not knowing what to do. Dean saw what happened to her body. She was so drunk she couldn't hide it with her magic anymore that night. It haunted him how horrible it all looked.
"I saw the injuries. The night she came home, she was in the shower on the floor. She doesn't let herself get drunk very often. Well she passed out and couldn't keep up the magic layer she usually has when she's sober. The marks, the gouges, they didn't even look like they were made by anything we hunt. It looked like someone literally cut them out of her. And they were everywhere." Dean said quietly and put his head in his hands.
"What? Dean, why didn't you tell me! Why would you keep that from me!" Sam said quickly, trying not to get upset.
"Sammy, there are some things she never wants anyone to know about her. She made me promise to never tell another living soul ever. And god help me, I will not break that promise. But I could use a little help. Do you have a library here? Or a book store?" Dean asked Helen.
"No we don't but (y/n) keeps a bunch of books here. She reads them to Hallie every once in a while. What's in them?" She said.
"There's nothing in them, but there is a book I'm trying to find. Maybe I have to order it from a store or something. I doubt she has another copy." Dean leaned back and ran a hand down his face.
Helen opened up a drawer on her china cabinet and pulled out a book to show Dean. He stopped his movement and stared at the book. Slowly he took it from her hands and opened to the inside cover. 'For (y/n), the true beauty is you. -Dean'
"She kept it... all these years???" He looked at it with awe. He could see every note, every doodle in the margins. It was her favorite book and he could never locate another copy. He always figured she lost it and he was always in the wrong town to look for it.
"It's been in that drawer for 5 years. She never wanted to take it with her." Helen wondered what was up with the book.
"Right now, she's just going through the motions. When she finally gets alone, away from here, somewhere she feels like she can let everything out without fear of hurting someone else, her brain is going to go into a system reboot. At least that's what I call it. Something extremely traumatic happened to her. And I never know if she will tell me about it later on, but it's like some switch turns off inside her and she completely shuts down for 3 to 4 hours. During that time, her brain reverts back to the last time everything to her was normal everyday life. For her it's when she was 17, and in love with this book. She read it every chance she got. It gave her a whole new perspective on herself and people around her. It's her safe place. She's going to need this, a lot sooner than you think. Could I borrow it please?" Dean looked at Helen pleadingly.
"Of course you can, dear! You know more about what's going on with her than I do! I'm just glad you can help her. She needs someone who is going to understand." Helen spoke softly with a smile.
"Thank you Helen. It means a lot that you've kept her stuff safe for her. She doesn't have a whole lot. Life on the road doesn't give us much to hang on to." Dean said while looking at the book. Remembering the day he bought it for her.
(Y/n) and Hallie came back into the dining room with fresh baths and new clothes.
"Nope no more sweets tonight, girly! Also, Helen I brought you back some new things! We just gotta get rid of the old ones first! Boys, let's get some stuff thrown out and clear the floors! Time for an upgrade!" (Y/n) laughed and brought them to the living room.
Helens couch was very old and had holes in it, but refused to get rid of it because she couldn't afford new furniture. She never let anyone buy her new stuff except Heather, and even that was iffy. So now it's (y/n)'s turn to take over for Heather.
"No honey you didn't have to do that! I don't need new furniture!"
"Mama, you have springs sticking out on one side of this thing, and you're not gonna say no anymore because I'm not letting you. You deserve good things so please let me do this." She pleaded with Helen.
Helen was silent for a moment, "ok, honey."
The boys took the old couch out to the burn pile in the back yard.
"You ready to see your new couch?"
Helen smiled as (y/n) set down a shrunken piece of furniture where her couch used to be. Just as the boys came back into the room, it began to get bigger. A big comfortable tan colored couch with throw pillows. It was perfect for Helen's living room.
"Oh, honey it's beautiful! Where'd you get it?"
"I had it in my apartment across the pond and couldn't very well leave it there for someone else to ruin! So I wanted you to have it. It's freshly cleaned and needs a little extra use. Go test it out! It's yours now!"
Hallie dove right onto it and flopped onto her back.
"It's so soft! Grandma come sit down!" Hallie said with a laugh.
Helen sat down and Hallie laid her head on her lap. David sat on the other side of Hallie and melted into the couch.
"Oooo yeah... this is a nice couch. We gotta have you pick all the furniture!!" David laughed.
"Ha! Funny, ok well the boys and I are going back to our rooms, so we will see you later, ok? Enjoy the couch! And thank you for supper mama!" (Y/n) said as the boys followed her out the front door and down the street to the motel.
Sam went to his own room and Dean followed her into hers, tossing his jacket onto the chair. He sat down at the table and stretched his arms above his head. (Y/n) laid down on the couch in her room and closed her eyes hugging the throw pillow.
Dean pushed the book into his bag and took off his boots. He walked over to the couch and picked her up, bringing her over to the bed.
"Oh no ya don't. You've had a crazy weekend and you are going to sleep on a bed tonight. No shower floor, no bench in the parking lot. You are sleeping in a decent bed and getting some rest." He said while he took off her shoes and pulled the blankets up.
"Only if you do too, Dean. You never get more than 4 hours so nows your chance. Get in bed and let's get some sleep!" (Y/n) said as she flipped the blankets down on the other side for him.
"Deal!" Dean chuckled and tossed his pants and shirt aside as he climbed into bed.
He rolled onto his side and pulled her by her waist closer to him. She turned around and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arm around him.
"You ok, (y/n)?"
"Yeah I'm fine."
"I've missed you."
"What happened to Cassie? You can't have missed me that much."
Dean sighed deeply, "Cassie and I aren't together anymore. That was a long time ago."
"I'm sorry Dean. I know you really liked her. What happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it. No use in reliving the past... what about you? Jason?"
"That's not worth reliving either. Let it go Dean."
" I will. Will you do me a favor though?"
"What's that?"
"If you need to talk, or you need help, please tell me. I can see you. I've always seen you. I'm here. Ok?"
She held her breath a bit before breathing out and nodding her head. Dean kissed her forehead and wrapped his other arm around her and sleep finally overtook them after the weirdest weekend they've had in a while...

4AM
"Come on, Dean. Time to get up. Time to go. Get a move on." (Y/n) said quietly as she shook his shoulder and rolled him onto his back.
"What? It's still dark out. Get back in bed." His voice coming out a little gruff.
"Nope, Sammy's up and packing. Let's get on the road."
"Sam. My name is Sam, (y/n). We've been over this many times." Sam said with a chuckle through the connecting door.
"You'll always be my Sammy and you better get used to it. Up and at 'em, Dean. This is your 10 minute warning. The trunk is almost packed." (Y/n) said as she walked her bag out to the car.
"Wow. They really weren't kidding. 4am." Dean looked at Sam.
"Bobby called yesterday. He knows she's back. He wants to see her." Sam spoke softly.
"Well then Bobby's our next stop. Let's get ready." Dean said.
She walked back into the room and grabbed a couple more things. She turned back to the door and all the lights on the wall lit up at once..
She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at them. Her heart fell to her stomach as she looked out the door at everyone looking back at her from the bench. All the girls were sitting as David came around the corner. He stood in the doorway as Sam came out of his room wondering what's going on.
"David you know damn well I don't say goodbye. What the hell are you all doing?" She whispered loudly.
"Oh we do know damn well. But I think she would want you to say goodbye this time. Everyone's been through too much this last month. Give them 5 minutes. Deal?"
(Y/n) got tears in her eyes and nodded her head. This is why she didn't do goodbyes very well. She was afraid of seeing their faces when she left. She didn't want them to cry. She made her way through the parking lot to the bench and saw Helen and Hallie sitting in heathers seat together. She smiled a bit and sat down next to them in her own seat. Silently, they all sat and stared at the horizon. The sun would come up soon. She took JJ's hand and Helen's hand on either side of her. They took everyone else's hands, and down the line. The sun peaked through a few minutes later. (Y/n) looked back to see Sam, Dean, and David all sitting on the bench outside her door just watching them. She turned back to the sunrise.
"I love you all so much. I'm sorry I leave without saying goodbye. If I could freeze us all right now so we never have to leave this moment again, I would. I know I'm going back by out on tour for a while, but please don't hesitate to call with anything. I will never be too far away." She spoke slowly, afraid she would burst into tears at any moment.
"As much as we don't want you to go, we understand why you do. We just don't want you to feel like you're alone and can't talk to us about things. We wanna know everything. Good and bad. We love you and just want you to be happy. And safe." Helen said quietly next to her.
Sniffling, (y/n) sighed out a breath and squeezed their hands a bit more.
"I am happy. Probably not in every way possible right now, but I am. And I'll get there. And I've got some back up with me so there's always gonna be someone watching my back now. Plus, if I need a break, I've got all of you here to catch me when I fall." She smiled at the thought of working with her family again.
"Come back again soon. All of you. We'll leave the lights on for you." Helen sniffled once more.
(Y/n) sucked in a breath and tried to hold back the tears but failed miserably. She let go of the others hands and stood up. (Y/n) raised her hands above her head and let out every bit of positive energy she had and let it wash over all the girls. They closed their eyes and smiled. She walked back to the room and hugged David once more before turning to the boys.
"Time to hit the road boys. Daylights burning."
Dean and Sam both shook hands with David and said goodbye to the other girls and Helen. Hallie hugged Dean a little longer and he closed his eyes just taking in the feeling.
"See ya later, Hal. I'll bring her back soon." Dean whispered in her ear.
"Thanks, Dean." She whispered back.
The boys hopped into the front seat while (y/n) sat in the back. They pulled out onto the road while the girls and David waved them off.
She laid down on the backseat while tears just fell from her eyes. Eventually sleep overtook her and she slept through the next few state lines. She was exhausted from the last few weeks. Dean left the radio off and neither of them spoke until she woke up again. They just wanted her to get rest. Next stop: Bobby's.