𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐋𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐀 • 𝘨𝘯𝘧

003

i slowly open my eyes, squinting against the brightness of the morning light that seeps through the half-closed blinds. my head hurts like hell and i have this sense of unease creeping over me.
i was in a luxurious white bedroom, the bed was very fluffy and the decorations were delightful. but i didn't recognise at all.

i felt so confused, but my confusion came to and end when i looked at my side and saw a sleepy man laying next to me.

this is the moment where i started to panick.

— good morning. — the man whispered with a sleepy voice while massaging my arm. that's when i recognised him from last night.

this isn't like me at all — i'm not the type of girl to get drunk and do something stupid. my mind races, and I can't help but worry about what might have happened between george and me. i had fucked up for real.

i quickly scramble to get dressed, still struggling to recall the events of the previous night. as I glance over at george, lying there with that stupid smirk on his face, I feel a surge of anger. his nonchalant attitude only deepens my annoyance. I turn to him, my frustration boiling over, and asked.
—what the hell happened last night? - my voice is laced with panic, and I can't help but lash out.

— don't worry about it, it was a fun night. — george just laughed as if it was a funny joke, his lack of concern and amusement only fuel my irritation.
i grit my teeth, trying to control my anger.

— what the fuck, i have a boyfriend! - i said firmly while looking him in the eyes.

— and? what about it? - he teases, running his fingers through his brown, fluffy hair.

i'm beyond furious now, my anger reaching its peak. i was not just angry about his jerk attitude, i was disappointed with myself as well. i want to slap that stupid smirk off his face, but i manage to restrain myself.

— what about it? you seriously don't see a problem here?!

george mumbled something incomprehensible, displaying complete indifference. he flips to the other side of the bed, trying to fall asleep again and ignoring my presence in the room completely.

i hurriedly get dressed, picking up my clothes off the floor, muttering a curse under my breath and storming out of the room, leaving the 25-years-old man all by himself.

as i leave the room, i find myself in a unfamiliar and big apartment. everything is neat and elegant, just like a museum.
my mind races around the place, trying to piece together the events that led me to that moment. how did i end up in this situation with a man i barely know?

i need to get out of here, get away from this unsettling situation.

i stumble down the hallway, in the direction of what it seemed to be the front door. each step feels heavy, as if the weight of my actions is dragging me down. my mind is flooded with questions and self doubt. how did i allowed myself to get into this mess? how could i leave maria alone in that bar?

i felt like complete crap.

i make my way towards the front door, my footsteps echoing in the empty hallway.
as i step outside, the cool air hits my face, providing a small sense of relief. i breathe a few times, trying to feel more relaxed and sober. i reach out from my phone on my pocket and call a uber to ride me home, desperate to return to the comfort of my own familiar surroundings.

minutes after the uber arrives, and i climb into the backseat of the car. as the car pulls away, i typed a quick text to maria, making sure that she knows that i'm okay and that i'll arrive home soon.

as the uber stops, i thank the driver and step out onto the familiar street. i unlock the door and go in the house, calling for maria's name, telling her that i had finally arrived.

i lay on the sofa while the blonde comes down the stairs.

— how are you, love? how was the night?- she asks me with a devilish smirk on her angelic face. the girl was clearly amused by the situation.

— don't you dare mar, i feel like such a mess...— i confess, pouring out all the details of what happen after i left the bar with george. i told her that i don't remember much of the night with him and expressed how ashamed i feel with the situation. i feel like i've committed a huge crime, and it weighs heavily on me.

maria chuckles, surprised with all the drama that i had share with her.

— come on rosie, it's not that bad! you had your fun, even that, in the end, george was a jerk. besides, your so called boyfriend is no angel either. you need to get over that relationship, love. taking a break essentially means a breakup. and honestly, you deserve so much better rosellyn. — she said, wrapping her arms around me in a comforting embrace

— i guess so... - i mumbled in her arms.

even when maria was speaking, all i could think was what happened last night.

— okay let's stop talking about this. how was your night with that boy? - now, this was my time to question maria about her night.

— hmm it was good i guess, he showed some interest in me. we talked and drink, and in the end of the night i just went home. we didn't kissed though! - she said, with a childish smile. — i wished.

i couldn't help but feel so happy for maria, her excitement made me smile and i felt like a proud mom.
seeing her enthusiastic made me forget, even for a hot second, about my own tangled mess of emotions.

— that's great, maria! it seems like it's a start in your relationship, maybe next time you'll kiss. - i said.

— yeah, we'll see... - she answer, daydreaming.

—okay, enough boys talks. i need some time to think about my life and what i want to do in the future. - i told her, walking to the kitchen and starting to prepar luch for as both.

maria laying her body and arms on the counter continues the conversation.

— you know, i saw an announcement about a psychology clinic who's asking for employees. you're days away from your graduation, maybe they'll accept you. — she said, looking at me.

— you think so? i could talk about my experience and everything. who knows, maybe this could be a great opportunity for me to start my career in psychology.

— yeah! you'll get this, you have lots of experience. just remember to be yourself and let your passion for psychology shine through. if they don't accept you, they're just dumb.

— oww you're the sweetest maria, i love you. - i replied to her while cooking. it was a good idea, it was a great idea actually! if i started looking for jobs now it would get me an advance, beside what could i lose?

the idea of working in a psychology clinic excites me, knowing that I'll have the opportunity to help others and make a difference in their lives. it's been a dream since i was a teenager, to help people who felt the same way i felt back in the days. it feels like a step in the right direction, a chance for me to find my purpose and build a meaningful career.

maria gave me all the information that she saw online. without wasting any time, i grabbed my phone and dialed the number for the psychologist clinic. after a few hours of back-and-forth, i successfully scheduled an interview for the following friday.

the anticipation and nerves started to build up as I marked the date on my calendar.

me and maria spend the rest of the day talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company and momentarily escaping the weight of our individual challenges. she was trying to prepared me for the interview, talking about possible questions or how could i highlight my experiences and qualifications.

i felt like this was a huge step for me, and i was so happy to have maria on my side.

but my mind was still somewhere else, it's was already night and i couldn't sleep. my mind was killing me with guilt.

so i did what had to be done. i texted my ex asking if we could talk tomorrow.

and after that, i went to sleep.

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written: 12th july 2023
rewrite: 13th july 2023
published: 13th july 2023