(Disney) Hades x MALE reader (silly billy)

Mmmm fuckies

"Hahahhahahaha I'm so fucking cringe lol"
You think to yourself as you walk around the silly woods in the Greek place lol
You sit down next to a silly river in the woods and you look at silly moss rocks
"Damn I wish I was a cis man l o l"
You cri/j lololol
(Sorry I'm autistic and nervous)
Once you say that, THE SILLY HADES MAN FROM THE DISNEY APPEARS!!1!1!1!!1!

"Holy fuck, it's Hades"
He looks down at you because you're very small
"Hey hey babe!! Y/n, am I right?"
He holds out his hand
"Uhhh...yeah yeah, that's me...how'd you know that?"
"Listen kid, I'm a GOD. Knowing your name isn't really the most surprising thing I know..."
You think for a second
"...what..."
"Don't worry about it babe. Listen, I know that YOU have a certain problem with...this..."
He points to your body and you look down in confusion
"Y-yeah...? What about it?"
"I can fix that! If...you maybe...heh...no I couldn't POSSIBLY ask for..."
"What?! What do you need man?!"
He looks down at you with a menacing grin
"Your soul..."
Aahhhhh...haha...heh...soul...WHAT
"Wait what?!"
You blush and bat your eyes cartoon style
"Why little ole me?~"
"Hey kid, trust me; I don't want your soul! Mainly because you're a freak..."
You get a little sad
"Aw..."
"But...it's been a little slow in the Underworld and I need more workers...so I guess you'll do..."
"Ah...okay so....does that mean you'll give me a peen?"
He gets a little put off by what you said
"I suppose...not in those exact words but...sure babe, I'll make you a MAN!!!"
He gets all confident and fiery
"So hey, what do ya say babe?"
He holds out his hand for you to shake
You reluctantly take out your hand and confirm with Hades
"You'll make me...a cisgender man...?"
"Yes, yes!!! Now are you gonna shake or not?! I don't got all day, kid!!!"
He seems to be getting impatient which in turn scares you and you end up shaking his head without thinking