Exotic II, finnick odair

~ Jenesis Hammaz

Maybe Zayden was the better Tribute, Vincent's voice spoke in her head.

Jenesis's couldn't help the tears that glossed her eyes over. " Maybe he was." She whispered.

That seemed to be Finnicks last straw as he began to shake her. Clearly wanting to end whatever dialogue that was going on in her head. Jenesis slowly sat up, feeling the intense ache in her stomach as she inhaled softly.

" Why don't we go over to Mags?" Finnick asked with a gentle smile on his face.

He knew better than to question her behavior.

Finally, in what felt like months, she looked at him. Really looked at him.

It's been almost 4 months since Jenesis's return from the Hunger Games, and it seems as if she's not the only one that has underwent changes. The shine that Finnick carry's around with him has dimmed down since he's returned from his mentor duties. Physically, Jenesis could tell that he hasn't been outside basking in the never ending sun of District Four as of lately. She's aware that he's been spending his time at Mags house, and lurking in and out of Jenesis's new home to try and coax the new Victor into outside activities. 

These days, Jenesis even found it hard to sit on the shoreline and draw. She couldn't bare to pick up a pencil and finish her drawing.

She hates to admit it but Jenesis is aware that she's the reason behind Finnicks sudden stress. The bags under his eye are because of her and her incompetence to accept that this is who she is, and what she must live with. Jenesis was much more easier to be around the first two months of her return. She was desperate to forget what she went through in the arena. The horrors she seen and the acts she committed.

She was open and eager to fish with a trident with Finnick all day because that's what he and his dad used to do. She was open to eating fried catfish everyday with different sides at Mags house because that's what Finnick and Mags do together. She was open to try and meet the other victors like Alexis Reed, the only other female Victor besides herself and Mags, because that's what Finnick suggested.

But it seemed like no matter how much fish she caught with the trident, how much fried catfish she ate at a lively dinner table, and how social she tried to be going house to house for each Victor, she still couldn't forget. She couldn't forget the logs piercing through Treyvon, the the veins on Imani's legs, the sound of flesh squelching every time she punctured through feeble skin, and the sound of Slater being chewed in half as if he was dinner to a starved family.

So she gave up.

Jenesis decided that it was all pointless, and she could see how that too affected Finnick. 

Jenesis pretended not to notice Finnicks out stretched  hand as she rose to stand from her bed. Jenesis didn't even bother glancing in the mirror to see her appearance, because she hadn't looked in one in nearly two months. Instead, she stiffly looked down at her light washed denim shorts and the tank top that she wore on top.

From her view, she could see the deep crevices of the ribs and boneless muscles on her stomach from the lack of food. Jenesis looked sickly. Worst than she did before she left for the games. No mirror had to tell her that, and she knew that.

" I think you're good to go." Finnick said lightly as he rubbed her shoulder.

Jenesis shivered at his touch, and almost immediately his hand was retracting from her shoulder.