hors d'oeuvre [CHECK DESCRIPTION]

HORS D'OEUVRE /// PART ONE

"Welcome back, mates to Hors D'oevure." Says Stalhorse as he begins the opening to the podcast.
"I'm your host, Stalhorse with my two good ol chaps Skulldozer, Tenor Horse Gif, and Jesus Pony. Tonight on Hors D'oevure..."

The podcast opens with a short animation featuring the main cast of characters.
A shot of Stalhorse in full jeans (you are not being told how he wears them) doing a stunning pose is shown.
"I keep my bloody streak of being based, bruv."
The animation then cuts to an image of Skulldozer in a lab.
"Skulldozer finds the cure for Ligma and sells it for 50 quid."
Next, Jesus Pony is shown unparting the seas to record a video.
"Jesus unparts the sea for the vine. And lastly..."
An image of Tenor Horse Gif is shown.
"How horse..."

The episode begins with Stalhorse recounting the events of the previous week. The four hosts are all at the main table. Tenor Horse Gif provides the running commentary while Stalhorse speaks to the audience.
"There I was mate, in the scorchin hot deserts of Nevada..." Stalhorse begins to recite his events of his time in Nevada.

"It was hot as shit probably. Like look at that thing." Tenor Horse Gif says as it points to the image edited poorly onto screen. "You can't see shit through it. It's like..." Tenor Horse Gif tries to say something but Stalhorse continues. "I was sittin' there, mate, mindin' me own business and plonked in the bloody dust, and before ya know it... Kablammo! The bloody Pirates from Sea of Thieves rock up and completely bugger me day."
"Must suck, hijo." Skulldozer adds, its machines softly chugging as it listens in to the conversation with curiosity and intrigue.
"No shit" Says Tenor Horse Gif.

"And what was I supposed to do? What do ya think I did, you numpty?" Stalhorse continues with a sigh. "I stood up and kicked one of em in the nards bruv. That's what I did."
"Not a bad choice, hijo, not a bad choice at all." Skulldozer responds. It seems very invested in the conversation.
"I believe that all problems can be solved with a little bit of peace and understanding, friend." Jesus Pony speaks up.
"Don't listen to him, he's a fake." Tenor Horse Gif says to the audience.

"The fok u sayin bruv? Unfortunately the entire fabric of reality as a whole is just a façade to hide the inner demons inside of you"

"What" Tenor Horse Gif says. "What the actual fuck are you on?"

"Mate, sounds like you've gone and swallowed some mushies! You reckon you're on top of the world, eh? Well, fair dinkum, you reckon you've seen things that'd make your eyes pop! The stars, mate, they've been singin' to ya, have they? The stars, mate. The stars. They have called to me." Stalhorse says.
The entire studio goes dead silent.

"Anyway bruv I was fightin my way thru the absolute HORDE of wanker pirates that needed to piss off right then and there mate. I was about to throw hands when they finally surrendered. But I ain't finished yet mate. I ain't finished yet bruv." Stalhorse says.

"Excuse me, Skulldozer, my child I love so dearly?"
"We aren't related, hijo." Skulldozer says bluntly.
"Are you going to go back to the Pirates of the Caribbean experience or do you plan on leaving your vacation early?" Jesus Pony asks while Stalhorse rants on about Sea of Thieves.
"Yeah. Anywho, So you were cruisin' back to the main hub of that wild Sea of Thieves, keen to score some more shiny loot. But then ya spot this boat with a flag, clear as day, claimin' it as someone's pirate ship. Without a worry, ya sail right up to 'em. Lo and behold, two old blokes, proper pirates they were, goin' on about the "Pirate Code of the Sea." But ya couldn't care less, 'cause you were hell-bent on baggin' the equivalent of a sweet Victory Royale."