Gangster's paradise| MXTX, Bingqiu

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   A simple apartment with worn walls, something quite normal these days. A messy bedroom, full of useless papers covering the floor, cups and glasses finding new homes on the desk, seeds shells scattered everywhere, a comforter thrown down probably after a fit of anger or crying. The trash can in this bedroom no longer served its purpose. It sat in the corner of the room, next to the window, but no one paid attention to it. Its existence was probably long forgotten in this room. The laptop was hiding under the white floral-patterned pillow, crumpled like the rest of the clothes thrown for some time either on the bed or on the chair.

Yes, a very calm and soothing apartment. Very soothing when it comes to the melodious sound of penny cars that barely run on four wheels, creaking on the road right next to this amazing block, next to them, others probably more.
   His apartment is very calming and peaceful. It's especially peaceful with the sweet sound of the penny cars barely running on four wheels, creaking on the road right next to this amazing building, next to other probably braver and richer people with Lamborghini, Suzuki, Bugatti, or other treasures that fascinate you with their beauty, color, shape, but are so exhausting when you hear them almost every day on the street, you could dream of them every night until you get bored with them. Ah, or the wonderful neighbors who have reserved their time for daily quarrels in the morning, heard in Shen Yuan's apartment as if they were in the same room, because the walls are as thin as paper. But the neighbors' quarrel can be efficient sometimes for him, at 8:30 a.m., when Mrs. Elena's husband comes home.

    Our dear friend Shen Yuan is living his best life! He enrolled in medical school just to make his dear mother happy, who complained for eight years straight that her son would not amount to anything in life if he didn't go into medicine. He has a lot of cute notebooks! He would draw flowers and butterflies on them all day long! Shen Yuan started hating his life since the 9th grade when he realized that he had to become a nerd to study and prepare enough for the years of torture to come. That was his fate, that was his life, that was his mother's dream, to see her wonderful son become a depressed and bored surgeon having a nervous breakdown every day.

     But has anyone ever asked him what he really wants? Has his mother ever asked him what he really wants to become? Maybe he never wanted to end up here. Maybe he never wanted to get to the point of studying medicine. One of his dreams might have been to make his mother happy, just once, because he never heard his mother say, "I'm proud of you!" or "You did your best and that's what matters!" All his life he has heard from his mother only, "You're good for nothing" or "You won't achieve anything in life." Why did he have to have this strict mother? Sometimes he gave up on these useless notebooks and spent hours at the window, watching from a distance the group of motorcyclists that always passed by.

    He also wanted to be a vagabond in this case! And what stopped him? His mother. Sometimes he wanted to throw all these papers out the window, to create a fake identity and leave far away. But with what? With a motorcycle? Where would he get the money? He needs to find a suitable profession to make money for a motorcycle as quickly as possible. The answer was still medicine. His mother once said to him, "If you learn, you can make as much money as you want!" But he didn't want to learn! He had enough of studying. Those motorcyclists weren't doctors and still got to this stage with a beautiful motorcycle, enjoying their lives. And they were probably younger than him. Why couldn't he enjoy life like they did? Why did he always have to be in his books while others had their heads in the clouds?

  He was foolish to listen to his mother! He was foolish not to follow his dreams and instead followed his mother's foolish dream! He wants to leave it all behind, not come back to this life. He wants to die and come back as another person, so he can make a better life for himself. Anything but this, he can't take it anymore. He goes to make himself some food. It helps him with the stress.