If I'm There - Noah Sebastian

Chapter 11 - What the fuck are butties?

"Want me to wash your hair?" He asks.
"Sure," I accept.

We enjoy our time together and each other’s company while it's peaceful and empty on the bus, for once.
A lot of that time spent screaming and dancing to our favourite songs and bands. I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss him when he goes back home. I shake the thought out my head as I don't want my intrusive thoughts to ruin what time we do have left.

"Okay, what's happening over here? We heard the music from outside." Folio stumbles up the steps of the van, Noah and I out of breath from dancing our life away.
"Wanna join?" I say, holding both my hands out for the lads to join.
"Fuck yeahhhhh," Nicholas screeches as he runs to jump on the sofa. Jolly heads over to the speaker and turns it up while we all jam along to Paramore.

It's been about 20 minutes since Noah and I started dancing and I'm absolutely fucked, I'm not fit enough for this. I plonk down on the bus floor, just staring at the ceiling, waiting to catch my breath. I feel all the boys do the same. The bus isn't huge, so watching the way they squeeze between the sofas and contour their bodies around each other makes me giggle.

"You guys want me to make some butties for you before sound check?"
"What the fuck are butties?" Folio said in disgust.
"Er, sandwiches, you moron." I spat back.
"You British people have some weird phrases," I heard Jolly mumble in the back.
"Alright enough, taking the piss out of my accent, you want some or not?"

"Yes, please." They all laugh, and I get up to head to the kitchen. Taking out all the ingredients for butties and packets of crisps.
I enjoy making food for them, I know they barely eat properly on tour, and they'd live off takeaways and pizza if they could.

While the boys are at sound check, I use this time to myself. I play some music and start doing a bit of tidying. Noah and Jolly are the tidy ones, and Nicholas can be too, but Folio is still like a teenage boy, and it drives everyone insane from what I've witnessed.
Activies like these calm my anxious thoughts and feelings. Just singing to myself while cleaning helps me to relax, and I just end up in my own world and forget about the existence of everything outside.

I took control of the speaker, but also had one of my earphones in so I could hear myself singing, so I didn't notice the van door had opened and I had my back to the rest of the bus as I was cleaning the bathroom.

I'm singing along to My Heart by Paramore. It fits my current situation so well, and I can feel my voice filling with emotion. I haven't sang this well in so long, and I even surprised myself. I finish cleaning the bathroom, turn off the light, and start making my way out.

"FUUUUUUCCCKKKK, fucking shit, you motherfuckers!"

All the lads are stood there in the front room just watching, Folio's jaw on the floor.

"Jesus L, you never told us you could sing?" Nic blurted.

I can feel red brew bubbling up my face. I don't sing in front of people, and this whole band just heard me sing, including a guy who has the most heartwarming voice ever.

"Ha, okay guys back up. You're making me claustrophobic," I retorted. I squeezed past Noah, who was still staring at me silently, to get into the kitchen to start cleaning up after making their lunch.

I think they understood the cue to not take this any further and split ways to head to their bunks to start getting ready. Noah didn't move from the kitchen. Still silent.

"Y- you amaze me every day, you know?" He finally stuttered.
"Thanks, but let's not talk about it. I don't sing infront of people and I'm feeling really vulnerable right now" I awkwardly chuckled.
"I get that. It took a while for me to come to terms with the fact I can sing and people enjoyed my voice. Feel the vulnerability. It helps. I loved hearing you sing that song,” he pleaded.
"Thanks, Noah. That means a lot. Only May and Jesse have heard me sing. Jesse videos it a lot, joking that he's going to put it online and make me famous."
We chuckled and shared a tender embrace before I headed to the bathroom to start my makeup.

"Lou, get out. I need to piss. " Folio cries.
"Well, I'm doing my eyeliner, and it takes a lot of patience, so go piss outside." I spit back.
"No, it's cold. Come on, Lou! Or I'll just come in and piss whether you're in or not."
"Well, you do that, Nick. I told you, I'm doing my eyeliner.”

Next minute, I feel the door swing open and a very agitated Folio come in ready to undo his pants.

"Ugh, Folio!!!" I hissed
"Well, I told you! I really needed a piss," he insisted.
I look out of the door and see the rest of the lads laughing at my disgust.

"Guys, can I take a couple of pictures of you before yo- Woah, Folio, Lou, what's going on? And why is the door open?" Bryon blurted as he heads on to the bus.

"Well, Lou was hogging the bathroom, and I was going to piss myself, so..." Folio says as he pushes me out of the way to wash his hands.

Bryon shrugged and shook his head, clearing having dealt with Folio’s shit for a while. The lads stand up and start heading outside to take pictures.

"Come here." Noah whispers, turned me around and away from the mirror.
He gives me a kiss on the forehead before smiling at me and leaning in to kiss my lips.
"Bryon will come get you when we're done and take you to side stage."

"Have fun out there! You're going to smash it. Like you do every time." I say, kissing him back quickly.

May and Jesse arrive as he's leaving, and he makes sure to give them both a hug and a kiss on the cheek before he walks off the bus.

"Ready?" May smiles.
"Ready." I say, smiling back.
Jesse intervenes this quiet moment with his very typical boisterous self... "Let's go bitches, side stageeeeeee yeah babyyyy!"

I grab us some beers from the fridge and turn up the music. Obligatory dance party before a gig.

"Ready to go, Lou?" Bryon calls from outside.
"Yeah, coming." I shout as I grab my bag.

Jesse and I head out first, and May is last. Bryon steps up and offers his hand to help her down the steps.
Jesse and I exchange looks while I shoot some wide eyes at Noah who does the same back before we start smirking and walking into the venue together.