my online lover

be aware

«Are you okay?» I back him off. «I am here not because I wanted to play a game, Daniele. I am here because I have a saviour soul. Every time someone needs help and it's in front of me I can't walk away without trying something. I literally pulled off the street a homeless man and his dog because I wasn't sleeping the night.»

I take off my headphones, not interested anymore in the conversation between Kevin and Joe. «I took care of a passed-out girl on the floor of my university when no one was helping her. I cried nights because of her death and I didn't even know her. I didn't decide to help Kevin because I wanted something to do in my empty life. I decided to help him because everyone needs a hand to hold when no one does it. He needed a push and if I didn't make up my mind in creating this plan, his life would've been doing something he never wanted to do and being forced into killing and stuff like that.

«And yes, I have respect for myself and I am proud of the person I am, even if sometimes it can seem selfless. I have a pure mind and a weak heart, blame me.»

Daniele glues his lips, staring at me and I can't read his expression but then he says his thoughts. «Why did you study literature? You would've been a really good lawyer.»

I blink fast. That was very random and I have no idea how to wrap my mind around that confession. I just shrug, not knowing what to say in response. I have never thought to work in the law world, it has never been my thing. No one ever told me I was good in words and in that area. Daniele is the first one popping out this side of me and I don't even think he is fully right about it. I just had a vent about everything I am walking through, and I don't like when people take my action so lightly. Everyone has their mind, I don't see why we have to judge others' decisions. I get that you may think differently, but still, it's my life, my body, my way to pick how to die or live.

«Anyway,» the man sighs pushing down his headphones. «I guess what we can achieve by these conversations is just Joe being vague about his last attack and some names that I can use to put everyone in jail. I hope that at least he will tell Kevin the place of the attack.»

I nod, still quiet. I also hope we will have more information about that because otherwise, it will be hard to reach it before Kevin has to do something extreme. We can put a GPS on him and reach the place, we already talked about that, so we have a Plan B. And Daniele told me he has made some calls to reliable army corps, people that don't work in Milan's police but they still have power. We slowly are building the house, but we still need a big component.

Kevin and Joe talked for another forty minutes before they split. As soon as the bug was off, the first one sent me a text, warning me he was coming and I didn't answer, knowing that he didn't need that. After the little conversation with Daniele, I left the office to make myself a coffee, even if it tastes bad and drank it outside the office, sitting on the stairs and looking at the moving city in front of me, wondering what those people do. I see a young girl, probably in middle school, with a heavy backpack and trying to hold the umbrella which is flying with the rain. I pity her but I stay where I am, shifting my gaze from her to a man with his briefcase on his head, trying to cover his head from the weather. He is walking fast, almost running and searching for something in the pocket of his coat. Probably the car's key. I hold a laugh when he almost slips on a wet rock before disappearing behind a corner.

I wonder if The Cleaners are still following me, if they know about the plan and if they've seen where Daniele is. I think if they knew, they would've gone to Joe and told him everything or threaten Kevin with their knowledge. Or maybe they're too stupid to think how to use it in their advance. Whatever it's going on, I don't like this silence, it is making me even more nervous.

Someone pats my head and I lift my head, narrowing my eyes to look better. Kevin is smiling at me with a mixed-up gaze. «What are you doing here?» He asks sitting next to me when he sees I am not moving.