A Kiss of Bleeding Fire

30

GARRETT REALLY stayed with us. Mas nauna naming maubos ang inorder namin habang siya ay kumakain pa lamang. While he was enjoying his food, he was momentarily snatching side-eyed glances at me.

I ground my molars as I stared at the freshly-inked tattoos on his arms. Some spots are reddish and still swelling. However, the details of them captivated my attention— especially the woman with horns. A beautiful goddess, a perfect embodiment of darkness and sorrow. Was it really Lilith? I wasn't fond of gods and goddesses, let alone knew about them so I was not sure if that was Lilith.

"You like it?" Garrett suddenly asked when he caught me ogling his tattoos.

"When did you get these?"

He scoffed, "I've been thinking of getting tats on my arm weeks ago. Well, what you said pushed me  to do it."

I shrugged and sipped on my iced tea, "Well, you don't need to get tats to prove a point. You don't need to do it just because you are guilty of what I said."

He turned around, ignoring his food this time. Bile formed in my throat as I stared at his perfect symmetrical features— a perfect embodiment of an aristocrat from the 1800s, a prince of a monarch in the daytime, and a deceitful knight at night. His rosy full lips were slightly parted, eyes gleaming with unadulterated hunger and adoration.

"Yes, you are right, I am doing this because I want to prove a point—"

Garrett was cut off mid-sentence when Sofia cleared her throat with an excess exaggeration, "Hmm, I guess it should have been better if you two talked this out in private confines? You know, to avoid getting unsolicited attention?"

I breathed and looked away from Garrett. He was too damn handsome for my liking. Looking at him was like looking at the Sun, burning and fiery, beautiful and mesmerizing, yet blinding and deadly if you stared too much, let alone dreaming to get near it. He was the Sun that ignited my succumbing fire, the reason for my burning existence, and the source of my light. However, I just knew that once I got close to this Sun, it would suck the fire it lent to me. It would swallow the fire of life he had given me.

In this world where he was the Sun and I was a little burning flame, I would face my demise if I gravitate anywhere closer to him. A bigger fire swallowed the smaller ones, making them part of its destructive carpet of damnation to anything with life.

"We really need to talk privately," Garrett enunciated the word private. I glared at Sofia and she just gave me a nonchalant shrug and a mischievous smile.

"Not today," I spoke as I stood up and grabbed my purse.

As I was about to turn around, Garrett grabbed my wrist, stopping me from making any movement. My neck snapped at him and his eyes were all on me. My chest caved in as I fought the urge to let lost in the pool of catastrophic destruction of his eyes. His eyes would forever be the temptation I needed to fight. They opened the gate of promises of the heavens but delivered a hell-like torture of sweet nothings and shattered hopes.

My lips parted as I stared at him. I was standing while he was sitting and looking up at me. His eyes were dilated with so much longing and sadness. His eyes were pools of mirrored reflection of the emotions dancing in mine. I wanted to believe in him; I wanted to try again; I wanted to give him the chance but there was this part of me that wanted to choose myself this time. I'd been begging people to love me and to care for me but all I got was their indifference and nothing else.

I wanted to dance with your fire again, Garrett. Believe me, I wanted to play with the fire only you can emit. I wanted to try again and expect a burn in the process. But there was a part of me, the part that wanted to be freed from the suffocating personality of wanting to be loved so badly, wanted to try to stop pleasing people. I wanted to become my person without depending on the people around me.