Heartless Smile (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Chapter 2

Natasha's Pov

I noticed at the competition yesterday that Y/n was looking at me at random points in the game, but I couldn't make out what her expression was saying, not that I care, I'm just... curious.

Running into her yesterday at the petrol station was something that kept playing on repeat in my head; how she mimicked Maria calling me baby. Y/n has always known how much I hate that pet name, but I've never dared to tell Maria that as she would get insecure and repeatedly ask if that's me telling her I'm breaking up with her, and if I'm being honest, I'm not the best in situations like that as I never know what to do.

I love Maria with everything I have but sometimes I wonder how Y/n's is doing, if she's moved on like I have or if she still thinks of me sometimes.

Yesterday in the petrol station she didn't seem upset to have seen me and she also didn't look hurt so what if that's all I need to know that she's moved on and is happier than ever without me?

It itched me, pushing on every nerve I had left in my body. Why was she so unbothered?

Either way, it's just Y/n at the end of the day. It's just the girl I thought would-

"Are you excited for today?" Today was nothing special although Maria made it out to be, I was only getting my math test back.

"Of course, I'm excited, Y/n/n. I already know I did great." I smiled proudly and her face fell like each time it did when I said something she wasn't happy with.

That alone was something that bothered me about her, she would find the smallest things in the shortest words and make a big deal out of them.

Constant scenes were caused by the two of us, gathering eyes of bypassing students in the cramped hallways of school.

Maria implied she hated it, hated the looks, and hated the attention of others, but she was the main cause; never me.

"Y/n/n?" She questioned me, a look of disbelief settling on her expression. Her arms crossed over her chest like a scolding mother. The action making me instantly want to groan but I supressed it, knowing this would only go south.

"Y/n/n? What do you mean?" I questioned her, my stance instantly becoming defensive with a narrowed glare thrown to her at her accusation.

"You called me Y/n/n, Natasha." Her tone was hurt with a hint of disappointment, shaking her head slightly as she bit her lip. A scoff seeping through her lips.

"No, of course I didn't. I called you Ria, just like always." I forced a smile as I tried to take her hand in me, hoping to settle this before an argument was caused.

"Natasha stop, you called me by your ex's name. I know what I heard." She pulled her hand back from mine and although this may sound selfish, I'm glad that she's staying quiet for once so no one around will hear us.

The word would only spread like a flame travelling up a single piece of paper, causing heat and panic to the person who held it.

"I didn't call Y/n 'Y/n/n', I called her 'Y/n'," I shrugged, tapping my foot against the hard tile of the school's surface. Already growing irritated by her. She glared at me without saying a word, so I corrected myself, "Okay I called her Y/n/n sometimes, not every time. It was rare but it happened- " I cut myself off when she scoffed in disbelief, her lips slightly parted with her eyebrows knitted together. "What?"

"What? You're seriously asking me what? I don't care what you used to call your ex and I don't want to know either so why did you tell me that?"

"I was just- you know what, forget it. I'm not doing this right now." I straightened up and began to walk away from her, leaving the conversation as I did.

"Yeah, just walk away from me, you did that to Y/n too so clearly her and I are very similar in your eyes." I chose to just ignore everything she just said because I know if I go back, I'll do something I'll soon regret. And yes, she may be right, I did walk away from Y/n but I did that so I could be with her, but she doesn't appreciate it; at least that's what she's showing me.

She could be so ungrateful sometimes.

I spent the rest of the day at school avoiding Maria and sitting with Eamon, Calla and Celestia. Eamon and Calla had been dating on and off for two years now and Celestia always has someone new each week; she's been my best friend ever since we were kids and she knows every single detail about me and as for the other two, they only know what I want them to know.

During lunch I told them what happened with Maria and I along with how I saw Y/n yesterday for the first time in a year, they were all as surprised as I was. The truth is, Celestia always loved Y/n and never once failed to ask about her up until the point the two of us broke up and she did get mad at me for a while because I got with Maria; she doesn't like Maria at all, she says she's too needy and only cares about herself and never bothers to check on how I am, and each time she says that it only reminds me of how she used to talk about Y/n which was the complete opposite.

Maria is completely different to Y/n, Celestia was right in a way when she says Maria only wants the topic to be about her, but I can't say anything about that to her only because of what the outcome will be. Maria only knows things about me that I want her to know but she never bothers to seek further information about me; Y/n knew me better than I knew myself.

I was not going to crack first, if Maria wants to talk then she can apologise because it won't be me doing that. Yes, I may have called her by my ex's name, but she had no right to say anything about me walking away from Y/n, I'm not going to forget that even if she does apologise. We argue quite a bit and the usual amount we go without talking is 5 hours; 1 more hour to go.

I forget about Maria when I enter my grandmother's flower shop, a place I come to when I want to have a family member's company. My grandma was the first person I came out to, and she has been the most supportive person out of everyone, she may have gone over the limit by getting me a shirt that said, "I'M GAY, WHAT ABOUT IT?" on the front in a rainbow heart. I pretended to love it but stuffed it at the back of my closet so no one could ever see it because as much as I love my grandma, I would not wear that even if it would make her happy.