break. | namjin

in my head i see bright lights

namjoon still remembers the first time he walked on this street. in the span of two months, many things has already changed in his life.

"so, what's this offer of yours?"

yoongi smirked, "you work with us, you get a much higher amount compared to your salary right now."

and it's all true, he can pay his bills on time without having to work himself to the point of exhaustion. another addition, he can now have leisure days because of the excess money he gets from this job. 

it seems like he didn't have to worry about anything now.

anything, except for the fact that he was working in a bar that has been a place where illegal transactions take place.

the bar was dark with only few of the lights turned on. the music was light in his ears and he noticed that there were no customers inside yet.

he approached yoongi who was sitting in a table with some of their colleagues. yoongi took a hit of his cigarette before looking up at namjoon. "hey, what's up?"

smoke clouded namjoon's vision as he let out a series of coughs when he accidentally inhaled a big amount of the smoke, "what are you- what are you guys doing?" namjoon let out his final cough, "don't we have work?"

"there's another transaction, but they're in a different place because the boss is a bit skeptic about the buyers." yoongi took another puff of his cigarette. he fixed his now blonde hair before inviting namjoon to sit with them at the table.

he sat next to yoongi and observed what the other people were doing.

some were just like yoongi, smoking cigarettes until their lungs burned out. others were on their phone, letting the light of the device consume them whole.

"eyyy, namjoon. my guy!" namjoon jumped when nahyang approached him from behind and locked his arm around namjoon's neck.

namjoon softly tapped the guy's arms and only then did nahyang let go of him. he sat beside namjoon and shook hands with the other people to his right.

namjoon looked directly at his eyes and even with the dim lights, he noticed his dilated pupils and bloodshot eyes.

nahyang sniffed and laughed uncontrollably as he brought out a packet that has a powder inside it and an id that has long faded away from getting in and out of pockets.

"hey! do that in another room." yoongi used his cigarette to point the objects that nahyang held.

the guy put both of his hands in the air and pushed his chair back, "damn yoon, chill! i was only going to show namjoon these ultimate lifechanging drugs." he laughed loudly, causing for their other coworkers to look at him. he stood up defeatedly and others followed after him.

nahyang looked at namjoon and signalled for him to follow them. as namjoon was about to walk away, he felt a hand grab his shirt and averted his eyes to that person.

"just- just be safe around that guy, okay? he can be a bit," yoongi looked down, trying to find the right word. "destructive."

namjoon smiled and yoongi finally let go him.

"i'll be fine." was all namjoon said before yoongi heard the door lock with his friend inside it.

he just hoped the best for his friend.

---

the lights in this room were far more brighter than outside. namjoon's eyes stung by this change and can't help but to squint his eyes as he looked around the room.

the stool in the corner screeched when nahyang dragged it and placed it on the center of the room.

he placed the powder on the stool and cut the powder into smaller sections then scraped it to join it back together.

with the use of an id, nahyang made a small line from the clump of powder.

"you got any paper with you?" nahyang said impatiently to namjoon, his mood drastically changing compared to when he was outside.

namjoon patted his pockets for something until he felt a piece of receipt and handed it to nahyang.

"no, roll it."

once namjoon was done rolling the paper, nahyang put his hand on namjoon's shoulder and whispered, "this your first time snorting cocaine?"

namjoon nodded nervously as what was about to happen sunk in his mind.

"alright, everybody!" nahyang removed his hand on namjoon and clapped them, "we will be witnessing a first timer here!" everyone clapped and namjoon felt the pressure weighing down on his shoulders.

he can't back out on this anymore.

as the cheers died down, he kneeled down and lined the rolled up paper to his nose and to the cocaine on the other side.

namjoon's ears rang heavily as cheers from other people in the room echoed in his empty mind.

he let go of the receipt and backed up in the corner of the room as people took turns in snorting the drug.

namjoon felt as if he could taste the colors that are present in the room. the blood in his body rushed quickly to his face as he flushed with this new sense of overbearing joy he felt coursing through his blood, his body, and his soul.

it's not like he's to be addicted to this drug, it's just that, he already likes it so much he craves to feel it in his system again.