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I sat on the couch in the living room crying, trying to control my breathing to the best of my abilities
I had my knees up to my chest and I sat looking straight ahead at the tv that had nothing but a black screen
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK !
I got up from the couch slowly walking towards the door hoping it was nobody but Jai'Lynn
I opened the door still crying to see, Jai'Lynn with a worried look on her face
"omg pooh what's wrong?" she asked stepping in closing the door behind her then pulling me into a hug
"I can't do it, Jai" I broke down again "I'm scared"
"scared of what Niyah, talk to me" she said rubbing my back
I let out a sigh "Jai he's not gonna want to keep it and I'm afraid-"
"keep what Niyah?" she pulled away for the hug holding my hands "are you pregnant?!"
I nodded my head slowly looking at face as she started too smile
"congratulations...why are you not happy about it though...?"
"I-I am but I don't think Mikey will be" I said shaking my head
"what do you mean?" she held my hand walking over to the couch sitting down
I sat next to her slowly stopping my tears
"I don't think he wants kids right now Jai, and we only spoke about kids together once which was last year and he said 'in the future', this is not what I planned"
"do YOU want to keep the baby?"
"yea, of course.."
"then tell him and let him known that, your gonna start to show sooner or later and you don't have time to be hiding something so precious because of the way you feel"
I nodded my head trying to get the bad thoughts out of my head
"Ok, I'll tell him..."
"we're dat big head nigga at anyway"
I laughed a li then looked down at my apple watch "he'll be here soon..."
"i'll stay here till he comes the you can tell him"
I nodded my head pulling my phone out to check Mikey's location which was done the street less than a minute away, I sat there looking down at my lap thinking off all the things that he could say or do
He could be happy and we start a family TOGETHER, or he can be mad and leave me to raise a baby on my own, either way it goes I won't, I can't give of up on this baby. I don't want to be anything like MY mother
