warnings: not proof read and my first ever story so it's not going to be to
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The statement of feeling heartbroken always has confused me. Factually, your heart can't break, and I love facts. This one however, isn't true.
As the sound of him slamming the door on me sprung through my ears, I felt that feeling. It travelled downwards until it reached my feet. The blood that was pumping through my body felt toxic, useless. My body was frozen in shock.
Our relationship had been on the edge for months now. Argument after argument but we always made up.
Always.
This time though, it felt like everything came out, every secret opinion on each other. Even if they were rude, nothing got missed out.
Not one word.
Even things we didn't mean.
I hope.
I definitely didn't mean what I said. I was just trying to protect myself.
This only started because of me. He made sure to point that out, saying that it wasn't a problem and I was only bringing it up because I was 'jealous.
The only reason I was mad was because he was never home. He was at races and then he was training or sim work or out with friends. Literally anything but home.
At first, I tried to keep my cool only focusing on how he was reacting or how he was feeling. Then I realised the complete stupidity of that and completely blew up. It then turned into a screaming match, both of us not caring about the others points.
There were two things that stood out to the both of us.
Me saying that he was a worse boyfriend than he was driver.
And him calling me a bitch.
He then stormed out, slamming the door. Leaving it shaking.
Leaving me.
I just can't wrap my head around the point where he got angry. Before everything, it was a sit-down conversation and me trying to get him to realise how what he was doing was affecting me. He didn't speak, he just listened.
Sure, I am not innocent in all of this. What I said was not okay however I am too petty to even think about telling him that. He is probably in the same situation. At least he knows where I am.
A loud ping broke me out of my thoughts, the sound echoing around the dark room.
My breathing coming to a stop as I held the air in my lungs.
'staying somewhere else tonight, don't feel like talking to you.'
The oxygen broke free from my lungs. Tears welled in my eyes as they continued looking at the text. That feeling I know all too well sprinted mockingly throughout my body.
'will come pick up my stuff for the race tmr'
My fingers hovered over my phone while i decided whether or not to text him back. I couldn't think though, my mind already occupied by the 2 possibilities that could happen and the probability of them happening. To me, it was 80-20
we break up (80%)we stay together (20%)
I exited the chat and took a deep breath attempting to be rational about the situation. I didn't like the results of that so i changed my plan to text the only person who could support me right now.
