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❝did i fall out of line when i called you? when i told you "i'm fine", you were lied to how could i think that all that i gave you was enough? 'cause every time i get too close, i just go mess it up❞
-mess it up, gracie abrams
✿
chapter twenty one, THE CHURCH BELLS
"AJ!" Pope called out as he followed after the girl. He almost passed where she was sitting, right outside the stables on a hey bail starring forward.
"AJ" He let out, moving over to her and resting a hand on her arm. Unsure of what to do.
"I'm fine, really JJ's just upset and worried about Kie. I get it" She breathed out. Her stare stayed forward, she didn't want to show how it was affecting her.
She didn't want to admit how much she cared about JJ and to hear that he blamed her for Kiara's kidnapping, even though she knew he was just taking it out on the first person he could, it hurt her.
AJ felt like she had a connection with JJ, the two understood each other. They were so similar which is why AJ kept beating herself up for getting upset. She would've done the exact same thing he just did.
"no, it isn't fair for him to do this to you. He shouldn't take it out on you when you're just trying to help" Pope tried to assure her.
"Pope it's fine. I'm okay." She finally looked at the boy. So much had happened since they left the island and the pair didn't have many moments to spend together.
AJ tried to push past what her nerves were trying to tell her. The way her stomach did flips when he was around. And now felt like an even more inappropriate time to let those feelings come to light.
The girl very rarely had crushes. It was a fact, something she was comfortable in. They were messy and complicated and the feelings never made sense to her. Her instincts screamed to run far. But her instincts pleaded and begged for her to say something, anything.
Just a quick, 'Hey, I know things are shit right now but you give me butterflies' or 'Hey the only boyfriend I ever had was when I was twelve so I don't even know how this works' or 'Hey, you make me feel things that I do not understand' or 'hey, Pope I know we haven't known each other long but-'.
Oh, it was pointless! Amelia Jade Whitlock knew nothing about love or feelings or communication and crushes. She knew of no way to approach the situation. She wasn't even sure if she actually liked the boy or not.
She couldn't say what she was dying to. She couldn't express whatever feelings wanted to come out. She just couldn't. So she turned away again. She didn't want to look at him and suffocate herself all at the same time.
