● I'd Lose Myself ● | Kosta X Reader(Y/n) | {X}

T w o

Chapter 2 : Hate

"Oh look it's the weirdo again."

"Oh yeah! Never knew we'd bumped into you again. Y/n."

Fuck fuck fuck. I hate this.
I stepped back, swallowing my own saliva. My hands are shaking right now. I feel nervous, I feel scared, I feel like I am gonna faint. I don't know what to do anymore...

...

I was silent the whole day after what happened. I didn't even greet my mom and Jen when I got in the car. I just sat on the backseat with my sister, staring outside the window. Not a single word was heard.
"Sis are you okay?" Jen pulled my cardigan to get my attention while I was zoning out.

"What..?" I looked at her worried face. She then tilted her head slightly sideways, staring at me.

"Mommy! Something's wrong with big sissy!"

"Dear what is it?" My mom said, keeping her eyes on the road while driving. I moved away from my sister slowly and rest my head, looking outside the window pane.
"It's nothing mom."

I can see that we're almost on our neighborhood, the school wasn't far from our house that much.

Even if I told my mom what happened, she won't believe it anyway. That is why being quite is the best option, for now. A few minutes had passed and we finally arrived at our house. I'm the first one who hopped out of the car and waited for my mom and sister to get out. After my mom turned off the car, she called me.

"Dear, please open the front door. I have to do something." She gave me the keys. I took it and went straight to the front door with my sister following me. I was busy looking for the front door key and my sister was just observing me like she knows everything behind all my lies.

''Am I really okay?"

After searching, I finally found the front door key. I inserted it to the door knob and opened the door. "I know that face sis." Jen suddenly spoke just when I opened the door.

"You're not okay."
I pondered.

I never was.

"I am." I calmly went inside. I just ignored my sister like she was just a stranger. I don't want to say anything to her. I am not in the mood for someone to feel pity on me right now. I went upstairs and went straight to my room. Just when I opened my bedroom door, tears started flowing down on my cheeks.

I hate it here.

...

"Sis!! Wake up you're gonna be late for school!!" Jen continuously knocked on my door loudly and it felt like she'll never stop until I knock her off unconscious.

After what had happened yesterday, I don't want to go back to that shit hole again. My bullies just embarrassed me on the hallways. HALLWAYS. Everyone saw my face, everyone knows me and someone even recorded the embarrasing moment I did. There's no way I'll show my existence there. I would feel like a mindless human or in short, an idiot.

"I'm sick!"
I yelled more louder than her knocks on my bedroom door. She stopped at last. There was a moment of silence until she yelled back.