I mindlessly scroll through the replies of thirsty boys replying to my story.
It's the usual.
The same old "HMU", "Yo"'s, and endless amount of heart eyes.
Those are the boys that I make sure to leave on delivered.
If they're cute I might send them a thank you back, but once they try to start up a conversation, that's when I go ghost.
On the other hand, the very few girls that do swipe up, always get a reply.
I feel my eyes roll after getting another set of heart eyes from a random.
I'm thankful for all the compliments I get. But it just feels, repetitive?
"No way you're bitching after posting that sexy ass pic." My roommate, Essence says as she rubs my back.
"I'm not bitching. Just... Bored?"
She starts laughing as she holds out her hand for my phone. Handing it to her, she starts scrolling through my DMs. "You have a waiting list of niggas, and you're bored?"
"I don't know. It's like none of that shit feels real to me, you know? Half the fuckers in here are the same ones who used to talk shit about me in high school."
"They're noticing the glow-up." She hands me the phone back. "Talk to one of them. See what they on."
"I've tried. Every time I take the chance to get to know one of them, they end up clingy ass shit and want a relationship. That or they just want to fuck."
"What's wrong with fucking?-Wait-What's wrong with wanting a relationship?"
I feel my face scrunch in an unsure manner. "Nothing. It's just I don't want a relationship right now. The most I'm looking for is friends with benefits." I toss my phone down and walk towards my vanity. "A boy bestie that won't catch feels but treats me well and I can be myself with."
Essence unlocks my phone and starts reading DMs out loud. "Kamryn." She says. "The messages the two of you have are endless meaning you've spoken more than enough to get to know each other. But suddenly, you stopped replying. Why?"
"Kam was... sweet. I just know I'm not right for him, he deserves someone better. Someone who wouldn't entertain other niggas while being with him."
Essence looks at me and shakes her head. "I can say this shit because I'm your best friend, but you're kind of a hoe."
"A hoe?"
"Yeah," she shrugs casually. "You said it yourself. You entertain multiple guys, ghost them if they want something serious, and only look for someone to fuck around with for a while. So it's either a hoe or an attention whore."
My eyes narrow. "If you were anyone else I'd beat your face in for saying that. Real shit, Ess."
"But I'm not. And because I'm not, I want you to take my words into consideration."
"I have," I say. "And you're wrong."
"Well, tell me your viewpoint on this. No way you see nothing wrong with it."
"I see it as me protecting my fucking heart, Essence." Aggravation began to show in my words. "You don't know who you can trust in today's generation. You can't believe anything anyone says anymore without making yourself look stupid in the process. It's either be the player or be played. And you gotta be out of your fucking mind if you think I'm gonna let myself be played again."
