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CHAPTER 019

"It's too late to be drinking coffee" I was startled when I heard Grace's unmistakable voice enter the small dining room.

"The storm woke me up," I excused, not wanting to tell her anything about my nightmares.

"I couldn't go back to sleep," I shrugged before taking another sip of my cup of coffee.

"Yeah. Storms like this happen very often around here" she mentioned, moving through the dining room to pour herself a cup of coffee. "I'm surprised that Norm and Trudy are still asleep."

I smiled slightly before bringing the cup back to my lips. I doubt they'll both wake up at some point. They must have been really tired after their afternoon activities in which I caught them both.

The image still captured in my mind.

Gross.

"Heavy sleepers" I commented simply.

"Yeah"

And there was an awkward silence between us as Grace poured herself her coffee and took a seat across from me. From a drawer, she took out her pack of cigarettes and decided to light one.

During the awkward silence, I sought to distract my mind with something around me. The storm didn't seem to be working for it. Inevitably, my gaze was drawn to the dim blue light emanating from the refrigerator inside, highlighting the hard paper rectangles that are Grace's photos hanging on the door.

The images made me remember the other day, when that conversation with Neytiri vaguely revealed to me a little of the past that Grace shares with the Omatikaya, and also the affection she has for them.

"How was hometree the other day? I didn't had time to ask you" I asked when I remembered all that, still without looking away from the photos.

From the corner of my eye, I could see the small, almost imperceptible smile that appeared on her lips as she exhaled the smoke from her mouth.

"It was nice to see the Omatikaya again. Missed my students a lot this past years" she murmured, although I could hear her.

"They looked happy to see you. Heard the younger kids call you sa'nok, Why?" Her gaze looked conflicted at my words.

And remembering the conversation with Neytiri and the reaction I just got from her, something clicked in my head at that moment.

"Grace, what happened four years ago at the school?" she looked at me wide eyed, letting the hand that was holding her mug to her lips fall slowly to the table while her eyes glazed slightly at the mere mention of past traumatic events.

"How do you know about that? How much do you know?" she asked a little alarmed, as if she didn't want anyone to know about it.

"Not much. Neytiri just said something about her late sister being murdered at your school" I said softly, knowing that it is a rather delicate topic for Grace. "She didn't go into detail."

Grace let out a heavy sigh, probably evaluating what a good idea it would be to tell me what happened. And I understand how difficult it must be for her to trust me to tell me, especially given my complicity in Quaritch and Selfridge's plans, but I hoped she knew that I would never use any information she could give me against her.

I'm not heartless and I have my moral and principles after all.

Finally, Grace nodded her head slightly, more to herself and to give herself support for what she is about to reveal.

"I assume Neytiri has told you about Sylwanin" it was more of an assertion that a question.

"Not much."

"Well, four years ago Sylwanin attended my school along with Neytiri, Tsyeyk and Tsu'tey. An inseparable group they were" she chuckled softly, letting the memories embrace her "Weeks prior to the incident, Sylwanin, Tsu'tey and Tsyeyk stopped attending to class. Instead, they were out in the forest fighting the marines that clear cutter the forest. They were angry and many times they came to me seeking advice to stop them" she lowered her gaze to her mug on the table. The rain now falling harder than before and the cigarette nearly extinguished now "The day of the incident, the three of them came running in with a group of young hunters, all their faces decorated in war paint and with bows and arrows attached to their backs "They had set a bulldozer on fire and I guessed that they thought I could protect them from the marines running after them" I felt a knot form in my throat, feeling that what was coming next is nothing but bad. "The troopers pursued them to the school, they killed Sylwanin at the doorway, right in front of Neytiri, Tsu'tey and Tsyeyk" I gripped my cup harder at that statement. I can imagine how hard it was for all of them to see that happening right in front of their eyes. "Then they shot the others. I managed to get most of the kids out, but they never came back" she lowered her gaze and I couldn't help myself to hold her hand supportively out of empathy.

I really, really feel bad for Grace.
And not just her, but for Neytiri, Tsu'tey, Tsyeyk, Mo'at and Eytukan as well. I can't imagine the pain they went through because of Sylwanin's murder. The rage they felt and still feel towards us humans because of what those marines did to their family.

Grace was surprised by my action, but she didn't let go of my hand and instead, she gripped it a little harder accepting my empathy and support. Her gaze drifted towards the pictures on the freezer door, walking up to them and holding one in her hand.

The one with her, Sylwanin, Tsu'tey, Tsyeyk and Neytiri.

"A scientist must stay objective. We can't be ruled by emotions. I know you understand it."

And I do, because it's exactly the same for us soldiers. The emotions make you weak and if you're weak you're dead.

"I put ten years of my life into that school. The kids called me sa'nok" hence why I heard them call her mother a lot when she visited Hometree two days ago. "That kind of pain reaches back through the link, Aquila. It's something that stays with you for the rest of your life" he looked at me with deep emotional pain.

"Grace, what happened that day was not your fault" I took her hand again, leaving my coffee forgotten and looking at the scientist with every intention of comforting her. "There is no way that you could have prevented what happened. You did your best to protect them. If it wasn't for you, the soldiers could've murdered every kid in the school.

You saved them."

Her eyes filled with tears at my words and I could easily see how she used all her strength to prevent them from falling down her cheeks.

Grace wanted to cry and she needed to.

And I wasn't going to judge her, because we all need to do it at some point. When the pain, guilt, sadness and sometimes even anger are too much to hold in.

I got up from the table and sat next to her, holding her in my arms without asking.

"It's okay, Grace. You can cry" and with those words, the sobs left her lips silently.

At no point did she lean on me or talk to me through tears about her pain, but she also didn't stop me from holding her in my arms while she let out years of pain and guilt that she silently accumulated inside her.

I let her vent in silence, simply staying there with her so that she feels accompanied and that there is someone who supports her in her pain.

And just listening to her cry and mutter words about the past, I realized that the RDA not only harms the Na'vi and their home.

But to the humans themselves too.

And that caused me more concerns than anything.