Picturesque

Chapter 32: Bunny Boob

Taking a deep breath, I took a step closer to her, but she jumped away, her face contorting as more tears rushed out of her eyes. Seeing her jump away from me hurt more than Katie's words.

"Jo, we could never get away with that," I said as softly as I could, putting my hands up as if trying to calm a wild animal. "Katie said—"

"You promised!" she screeched, shaking her fists downwards. A sob escaped her mouth, shaking her entire body. "You promised you would stay!" She was crying like a child now, and it made me feel feverish with guilt.

"I know," I choked, a lump forming in my throat. I hated seeing her cry like that. I never thought I would be the reason. "I'm sorry."

"You promised!" she yelled again. I tried to step closer to her, but with a loud screech she came at me, putting her hands on my chest and shoving me hard. I fell back onto the ground, gasping as my breath knocked out of me. "You promised!" she screeched again, looking at me on the ground. I sat up on my elbows, my lips quivering as tears slipped down my cheeks.

It was awful seeing her like that. In all of her tantrums and cruel moods, she had never been like that. I don't think she really was mad at me. She knew as well as I did that we couldn't get the apartment together, that Katie would find out and ruin both of our lives. She knew that we did not yet live in a world where we could make it work. She was just grieving again, like she grieved Willow, but this time she was angry. She was high, too, and kept rubbing at her nose as she paced, staring at me who just laid on the ground and stared at her frightened.

"Just go!" she finally cried, her eyes squeezing shut as a sob escaped her again. She covered her mouth with her wrist, turning in a frantic circle. I could only lay there, crying up at her, wishing she would just stop. "Go! I said go!" She ran at me and kicked the ground at my feet, dirt and grass jumping up. It frightened me, so I scrambled to my feet and stepped away from her.

"Jo, please. We can still write each other. Maybe one day when we are older and have our own money, we can—"

"I said go, goddamnit!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, the force of her voice bending her body and drawing a deep gasp once she was done. "Just fucking go!" Her voice screeched so loudly that it woke the sleeping birds who fluttered away towards the moon. I wish I could have flown with them.

"Jo—"

"Go!" she screamed again, and I was sure that someone had woken up in the house, but I didn't care. "Go!" She ran at me again, pushing me by my chest. I caught her wrists and held them tight, her fists grabbing my shirt so hard that it wrinkled under her palm.

She was sobbing hard, lowering her head and letting it push against my chest. I tried to pull her up, but she crumbled to her knees at my feet.

"Go!" she screamed again, letting go of my shirt and snatching her wrists out of my hands so she could put them over her head as she cried at my feet.

With blurry vision and a breaking heart, I knew there was nothing else I could say to snap her out of it. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head, placing my hands on her back. I kept my lips against her hair for a moment, trying hard to remember how it felt, how she smelled. Then I stood, wiping my face, and walked away. She stayed there as I walked away, crumpled into a ball on the grass, sobbing and crying with the most heart-shattering pain I had ever heard.

I cried as I spent the rest of the night packing all my things. I wanted to be gone before anyone woke up. I'd already decided that I would call a taxi to take me to the airport as soon as the sun rose. By the first ray of sun, I was packed, and I took the Western Electric phone out of the desk and called a taxi.