Mahirat Stories

6.1 Tired

Saying so he smiled at me and rushed out before I could even react.

Once I realised he was leaving, I tried to move my legs, but it was as if my legs were frozen onto the ground, so I screamed, "VIRAT NO STOP, RUK JA! MERI BAAT SUN! IM SORRY LISTEN TO ME CHEEKU! STAY!! RUK JA!!! HUM SAB SOLVE KAR LETE HAIN! TRUST ME VIRAT BACHE! CHEEKU!! DONT LEAVE ME! CHEEKU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

Suddenly, I heard a huge crash, unable to grasp meaning behind the sound. I screamed and ran when everything turned black. I tried to call for Cheeku, but no one answered! Why is no one answering!!! "CHEEKU??? CHEEKU?? VI BACHA?? BACHA BHAI KO JAWAB DO!!! VIRAT?????"

And I woke up with a gasp, my throat was dry indicating I've been screaming. There it was, again, the very old nightmare I've been getting for ages. My Cheeku is always defeated, ready to leave everything behind, and for some reason, nothing I say makes him stay back or trust me that I will protect him. And if he ever wants to stay, someone pulls him away, like literally pulls him away from me.

I've been getting these nightmares every once in a while since me and Virat got closer, but these days, Infact past 3 months, they've been more frequent than ever... to the point that I sleep in a different room than Sak and Ziva. My therapist told me that along with the therapy, I'll need to talk with Cheeku and live with him for a few weeks, but i couldn't.. i just can't.

The thing is, if he gets even a hint about these nightmares, he'll come running to me and stay with me, to help me, to heal me, which is what i can not do! I can't be the reason he stays away from his family for more than a day! Or he stresses out on his vacations! No! He'll continue to worry even when he's back with his schedule. Which is something I can't afford, and I know he won't say it loud, but if something is bothering him and he's not able to perform, it'll eat him up alive. I can't risk him getting stressed while playing as well! No! That will break him! I'll rather continue being the one who's in pain than let him face anything like that ever again.

Sighing, I got up and sat on my bed. I went to get some water from my bedside table but the water bottle was empty. So tiredly, i got down from the bed carrying my bottle as i looked at the clock, which flashed 12:51 am. I sighed, knowing there's a whole night ahead of me, which I'll have to spend somehow, just wandering here and there or watching some documentary or something. Because sleep? Yeah, that'll be the last thing I'll go back to...

As I stepped out of my room, surprisingly I was blinded by the led lights of our living room which didn't make sense given the fact that it was past bedtime for Ziva, and Sakshi didn't stay awake on school days like today/tomorrow. I readjusted my eyes to the lights as I walked down the hall with my muscle memory. By the time I reached the kitchen, my eyes were somewhat adjusted to the lights, and I opened enough to let me see the purifier.

As I filled my bottle, I could feel my eyes regaining their focus and my body getting back to senses. Nightmares leave you in a haze. Everything seems blurred and white, I'm no stranger to this feeling. But when you start coming back to your senses, you're hyperaware of your surroundings. I could feel like i was being watched. I disregarded my paranoia because the only person who can watch me right now will be Sakshi. I slowly went toward the dining table in the living room and sat down on the chair, calming myself down so as to not get scared or panicked when I would actually look at Sakshi.

Suddenly, I saw tattoed manly hands wearing a platinum ring, almost peaking in my eyesight... I gulped down the lump that was forming in my throat. What kinda sick joke is this? I slowly looked up to see the face, scared of what I might see. If this is still a dream, I can see anything that would be scarier, I am in no state to break down further.