The Tie That Binds

- The Blood Sweat and Tears

Lying in bed Sean looked around the room he had slept in since childhood, the small blessing of being the eldest of three was that he had secured the room to himself since he could toddle. Sean couldn't settle, the mattress he lay on felt like nails in his spine as he tossed and turned before getting up and quietly making his way outside into the yard. A smoke would calm his nerves, well, so he hoped. His mind wandered over what was coming up, because of what Danny had done Sean now faced falling back into the criminal world he was desperate to escape.

Sean Maguire was a man who just wanted the best for his family, for his beloved Ma. There was nothing he wouldn't do to make the life of the woman who had raised his two brothers and him so well since birth. His mother had worked so hard all her life, taking on cleaning jobs for a small wage, Sean recalled days when he would wake and she would have already just been coming home after being out since before the sun rose and she would be gone again in the evening to clean buildings after they had shut down for the day. He recalled the day she had come home with the biggest smile on her face, she had a 'key job' to a Fleet Street office. His mother, for as long as he could recall, had her pride, there would be no taking in washing for her. Even when Sean senior had been in the house he'd been a useless waste of space splitting the meagre contents of his brown wage packet between the bookies or the pub. Inhaling deeply on the third cigarette he had rolled up, Sean recalled being sent down the pub to fetch his dad from The Feathers and being chased away by the drunken man only to be greeted with his mother in tears.

No more.

There were days when the three boys had hidden under the stairs from making any noise when the rent man called because his Dad had blown his wage packet on ale and the dogs. Three Saturdays in four, his mother would be seen with other women in the street making the walk towards the pub in the vain hope Sean senior had left them with something to spend on food. His stomach ached at the memory of going without on more than once occasion - his heart had broken at the look of despair on his mother' face and yet there was always a quiet determination about her. There had been a few trips to 'Uncle' the pawn brokers. The shame on his mother' face as she had sent Sean with her wedding band, and on several occasions her best sheets that his grandmother had sewn roses into the corner. One of these sheets now lay on Sean' bed. Sean had been a totter, knocking on doors in a similar fashion to the rag and bone man, he had wanted to run away from the shame and embarrassment but for his brothers and beloved mother, he held his head high and asked. The night his Dad had raised a hand to his mother had been the last straw for Sean and to this day his only regret from that night was that the family had had to relocate across the water.

Sean launched several punches into the old mattress that hung over the washing line as he found himself drawn back to the night his Dad had found himself with a knife in his gut care of his oldest son.

His mother had come home early and in tears, Sean had seen her approach when he'd being kicking a ball around the road. Following her into the house quietly he had heard her yelling and his Dad' voice screaming back - normally Sean hid from the fights but this night he knew something was different. His mother wasn't backing down to the aggressive tone in his Dad' voice, she was mad.

It had turned out that 'someone' had got the key that his mother carried on a chain in her handbag and had helped themselves to various items and his mother had lost her job. Sean had known it was his Dad who had been boasting and buying the family food for the last few days, insisting he had had a win on the dogs. Seemed it was a lie, but then again ninety nine percent of what had come out of his Dad' mouth throughout the years had been lies. He had seen his mother cower back from his Dad and had run in from the kitchen and found himself face to face with his Dad and the smell of blood in the air.

He hadn't meant to do what he did. Whilst it was true that he had a temper, Sean really didn't want to become a killer. He just wanted to look after his mother and protect his brothers who were asleep in their small room above the three. It was only when he pulled back from his Dad did he see the knife and the blood over both himself and his Dad, his Mother had grabbed him and made him run upstairs to grab a sleeping Mickey from his cot and run to his Aunt' house insisting that he wasn't there that night. Danny in turn had been sent to get a doctor who was known for keeping quiet about such things.