The next morning was quiet. It was early. Jimmy was only half awake. A bright light pierced his eyes, making him frown and sit up. He rubbed his eyes and yawned, the sleep slowly leaving his body.
It took Jimmy a moment before he realised he was naked. Memories of the night before flooded his mind and he felt his face grow hotter. Behind him was Robert, still asleep. He glanced at the blonde.
Robert looked peaceful. His face was resting gently on a pillow. His hair fell perfectly in all the right places. The early morning sunlight made his smooth skin glow beautifully.
Jimmy suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of disgust wash over him. The events of last night were the sort of thing most men swore never to do.
This kind of sexual interaction had only been legal for six years. And still it was heavily frowned upon. Personally, Jimmy never had a problem with it. Not when others did it, anyway.
When it was himself it was a different story. he did not want to be an outcast. If this ever got out, he definitely would be.
He stood up, deciding not to think about it. No one knew about it. They were both drunk when it happened. Neither him or Robert were homosexuals because of this. It was a one time thing.
Jimmy gathered all his clothes and quickly got dressed. He had to get out. He was afraid of what he would do if he stayed. Robert looked perfect. The temptation to repeat last night grew every time Jimmy looked at him. It was wrong. They were mates and colleagues. Not to mention they both had women and families at home.
He hurried out. The air was much lighter in the hallways. Jimmy took a deep breath. It helped. He slowly made his way down the corridor, forcing himself to forget about his frustrations.
The thing Jimmy hated the most, was that he had enjoyed it. The empty feeling which had been bothering him for months, disappeared.
Maybe it was just the feeling of touching someone he was close with. It was different than sex with groupies. Jimmy needed to know a person to really enjoy intimacy with them. He definitely knew Robert. it was probably Robert's femininity that tricked Jimmys body into enjoying the sex. It had to be.
Jimmy walked past a clock, glancing at it. He stopped when he realised the time. It was 7:00 AM. Why on earth was he awake so early? Peter had told them to sleep in. They needed energy for the show.
Jimmy could not sleep now. He was awake. New York was five hours behind London. Meaning it would be around 12:00 PM back home. Calling Scarlet could be a good idea. It would help time pass faster, and it would lift his mood.
He made his way back to his room, praying that the groupie would be gone by now. Jimmy opened his door and sighed in relief. It was empty.
-
The backstage area made Jimmy feel claustrophobic. People were running around, trying to make everything perfect. The air was warm and the atmosphere was tense. Peter had asked him about a dozen questions, none of which Jimmy had properly answered.
He was sat in a chair, holding a cup of water. He was not going to drink it. He did not want to open his mouth. He did not want to move at all.
Suddenly, a tall figure was stood in front of him. Jimmy's eyes trailed up to see who it was. Bonzo was stood with his arms crossed.
"Get up Jimmy. It's not a rockstars job to sit and sulk." He firmly grabbed Jimmy's shoulder and pulled him up. After that he proceeded to give his friend a few hard pats on the back.
John was too strong for Jimmy, and the guitarist nearly stumbled forward. He appreciated John's attempt at cheering him up, but it was not working.
Jimmy had not spoken to Robert yet. In fact, he had barely even seen Robert. He was afraid of what would be said if they spoke. Would Robert pretend it never happened? Would he be angry at Jimmy? No matter what it was, Jimmy did not want to face it.
And as if Jimmy had predicted it, Robert was suddenly the one in front of him. The singer once again had a worried and confused look on his face. Jimmy figured there was a different reasoning behind it this time.
"Can we talk?" Robert asked. Jimmy wanted to say no. He wanted to stay away from Robert for as long as possible. He was not ready for this conversation. Unfortunately , that would be considered childish.
Jimmy nodded and Robert turned around walking into a dressing room. Clearly, he had important things to say.
"Last night-"
"I'm sorry Robert." Jimmy cut him off. Robert looked surprised, Jimmy was surprised too. He did not mean to interrupt.
"Look," The guitarist began. "We were drunk. I'd just had a miserable attempt at fucking a groupie, you probably had something going on too-" He shook his head. "We can pretend it never happened."
Robert's face still wore a surprised expression. This was the first time on this tour that Jimmy had properly spoken to someone. Another feeling made it's way to Roberts face. Disappointment.
"It happened, Jimmy." Robert crossed his arms over his stomach, watching Jimmy closely.
"We should pretend it didn't." Jimmy was staring at his shoes. He felt too awkward to look up.
Robert raised an eyebrow and moved his hands to rest on his hips. His voice changed. "Do you really want that?" He did not sound like he believed Jimmy.
All Jimmy did was silently nod.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you really want to forget it." Robert demanded. His voice had more of a stern tone now.
Jimmy looked up. He was ready to say it, but Roberts eyes were as piercingly blue as ever. He couldn't lie to them.
Instead he remained quiet.
A smirk made it's way onto Roberts face.
"I thought so."
