Remember + Niall Horan

Twenty

The man sat on a chair in front of me whilst I sat on a long bed, kind of like the ones you would sit on when a doctor checked up on you at a doctors office.

"Alright, as I've heard," he started to speak.

"You haven't remembered anything ever since that one night when you had overdrank, do you by any chance remember what you we're doing when you we're by yourself that night?" he asked.

I tried to dig back into my head, going deep in my thoughts, but I couldn't pull out anything from that night.

Nothing came into my mind, it just made me start hurting again.

I hated how this happened after I tried to think hard about things I couldn't remember.

The man stared at me, still waiting for my answer, so I shook my head.

I could feel my family watching me, and this made me nervous.

"Hmm.. Let's take a quick look first then." the man stood up, looked at me, gesturing for me to follow him.

"Do we go too?" mom started to speak, but the doctor shook his head immediately.

"It'll only take a minute." the man told them.

"Oh, alright." mom breathed, but she had a concerned expression plastered on her face.

I got up, not looking at the people behind me who I could feel were massively staring art me with concern.

Following the doctor into the back of the room, we entered through a door that led into a room with a huge machine.

It was big enough for a person to go into, and it looked almost like a metal bed with a round covering.

I was guessing my head was going into that round thing, and I was right.

He made me lay down on the cold surface, and above me I could see the round metal hovering over me.

Inside were two lights that were so bright I felt like I was being blinded.

"Close your eyes. I will run a scan over your head and it will help me look through your brain." I heard the man say.

Obeying, I shut my eyes tight, hearing slow and quiet beeps overtake my body.

I could feel a warm light shining over my face, tingling heat on my skin.

It lasted for at least 30 seconds, and then it was done.

"Alright, you may come out now." the man said.

I opened my eyes, almost feeling dizzy, and pulled myself up.

The doctor was staring at his computer screen, and he was deeply inspecting it. I then knew he was looking over my brain.

"Wow." he gasped.

I jumped back, nervous as to why he reacted that way.

Was there something wrong with my brain?

"Your mind is completely different to anything I have ever seen before." he said finally.

"Is that bad?" I asked.

He kept staring at the computer screen, still thinking to himself, and not responding.

The expression on his face was scaring me. I had a feeling he was going to say what I didn't want to hear.

When I thought he was finally going to speak, he sighed instead.

He looked from the computer screen to me, with the same expression.

"Um.." he breathed.

"I've scanned through your mind and done everything I can do, but the results are showing me that," he hesitated.

He didn't need to speak anymore. I already knew what this was going to end up to.

I shouldn't have become hopeful, even if it was just a little.

"There is a small chance that you will regain your memories now," he whispered, not wanting to let the others hear.

"You may remember a few things, but they won't be everything. All the memories you've lost will never come back completely."

I bit my lip, trying hard not to cry.

These words we're too hard to hear, even though I've already heard them before, and I already knew them myself.

"I'm not getting enough clues either to tell you how you suddenly just lost everything. There's not enough. It's like your brain refreshed and decided to delete everything you knew." he explained.

"This must be very devastating but you're not reacting to it. I'm guessing someone has already told you the same thing."

I nodded.

He sighed, and shut his computer off and walked closer towards me, leaning in my ear.

"Are you afraid? I won't tell your family what I said to you, since they are already frightened as they are now. Unless you do want me to tell them?" He whispered.

I thought deeply.

I didn't like lying, but if he told them a little lie, maybe they wouldn't be so hard on me, and there would even be a greater chance that if I asked them if I can leave, maybe they'll let me.

I nodded, but I had a tiny feeling inside that this was bad.

The man nodded slowly, and took a clipboard and started writing on it.

"Let's go." he said.

I followed behind him again, back out of the room and into where my family were still sitting.

Their expressions were the same, full of gloom and hope.

If we were to tell them what the man had told me, I didn't know how they would have reacted, since they were already in the worst state as it is.

"Well," the man sighed.

My parents sat up, looking at the man, waiting for him to keep speaking.

"There's good news." he finally said.

Suddenly my whole family's face were changed.

Their drooping eyes raised, and their frowns turned into smiles.

I felt very guilty about this, but it was only for the better.

"Is he going to remember?" Amy asked first.

"Niall, are you?" Mom chipped in.

I grinned a little, and nodded my head. They all widened their eyes and stood up.

Mom was the first one to run to me and hug me tightly.

"I told you we could do it! I knew we could!" she cheered.

After she pulled back, Amy quickly took the chance to hug me too.

She was cheering happily into my chest, and I could see mom and dad laughing together, and so was Greg.

This was bad, so bad.

I pretended to be happy, since I knew now for a fact that I was never going to remember everything, ever.

This left me a mixed feeling, because one, I did want to remember my family and everything before, but then two, I didn't want to forget Arianna, and if I had remembered everything, then I probably would've forgotten my love for her and went back to Amy.

Which Amy was a great girl and everything, but I don't see myself being with her.

Even my whole family didn't seem right with me. I didn't feel in place with them.

I belonged with only one person, she was the only place I felt actually at home.

Soon enough, when the time is right I'll beg them to let me leave, to set me free, so I can run back to my home quickly, where we'd return to how everything was before, and make more memories.

Oh, how I wanted to leave right now.

If only I could, I would.