Changes and Chances

Chapter 32

They sat on one of the tables in the balcony area where they could see a good view of the city - Ryujin specifically asked for the seat with a view so she was happy seeing Isa grinning as they waited for their order and chatted about the movie they just saw.

Isa did most of the talking - she liked the figures and the buildings shown on the film. It was a movie about an aspiring architect, after all. So Ryujin just nodded and listened to her girlfriend gush about vaults, and arches, and arcs.

"The details of the columns, too! It's something that I've been meaning to study but there aren't a lot of projects that need those in the current times."

Her girlfriend was saying as Ryujin's eyes slid a little towards a familiar figure entering the same section of the restaurant.

She instantly felt her stomach turning into knots as she held her gaze towards the cat eye.

She was wearing a black dress that goes above her knee, paired with a black high heels that made her look like someone straight from a movie. She was smiling, too, which made Ryujin want to smile with her.

But her thoughts were instantly cut off by a hand circling around Yeji's arms - an arm that belongs to another woman who probably was the reason why the cat eye was smiling.

She peeled her gaze off the pair as she noticed that Isa was looking in the same direction, too.

Shit.

She facepalmed herself and looked down as she heard her girlfriend's disappointed huff.

The waiter came with their food before Isa could say anything and the couple remained quiet while eating.

Ryujin felt so guilty but couldn't get herself to speak up. She was reminded of the conversation with Lia the night after the airport encounter.

She was agitated and out of breath as she arrived at Lia's house the night after dropping Isa off to rest. The latter offered that Ryujin could stay over but she refused, made up an excuse, and promised to see her the next day.

"What happened? Are you okay? Where's Isa?" Her best friend as she tried to calm the brunette who's close to hyperventilating.

Ryujin then proceeded to tell her about Yeji. How she looked the same but different. How she still felt that sudden stinging ache in her chest when their eyes met and was taken over by a heavy feeling of longing. How she was holding her breath as she watched her walk towards her direction - at least until Isa ran out of the door, too, and threw herself into the brunette.

How she watched her walk away, head down, and not looking back. Again.

Lia was also evidently shocked to hear the news but she was able to gather herself immediately - aiming to know some sense into her best friend.

They had a heated exchange after Ryujin calmed down.

Lia expressed her frustration and disappointment with how the brunette dropped off Isa and ran straight to her to talk about someone else. Someone whom they haven't heard from for years.

"Ryujin-ah. I know I told you that I understood Yeji and the situation that she was in. But it has been eight years and she didn't even bother to send you a single message. I might have been sympathetic towards her but it doesn't change the fact that she almost broke you apart. And I don't want her ruining all the progress that you have made."

Ryujin wasn't able to argue or say anything after Lia's statement.

"So, please. Calm down, drink a glass of water and let me walk you home. Okay? We'll talk about this when you're in a better headspace."

She hasn't reached a better headspace even after two weeks. And now, she ran into the cat eye again.

Yeji didn't see her, but the brunette kept on stealing glances towards their table the whole night. And she felt a little weird watching her laugh and have a good time with someone else.

What do I expect? That she'd mope around and not date? She was in the US. Pretty sure people had lined up for her there.

She thought to herself.

The ride home was extremely quiet, Ryujin had to open her windows to hear the outside noises as she drove home. Isa was supposed to stay the night but changed her mind and asked the brunette to drive her to her own house, instead.

Halfway through, Isa broke the silence.

"It's her. Isn't she?"

Ryujin had to slow down so she could glance sideways.

"The girl who left you." Isa continued.

"I remembered how your eyes looked back then, when we met at Chaeryeong's house. It's the same expression that you had tonight; the same one that you had, too, when you saw her at the airport."

The brunette halted and stopped the car on the roadside. She didn't know what to say so she bowed her head and reached for Isa's hand.

The latter let her.

"You can't even say anything to defend yourself bec-"

Isa paused, tears forming in her eyes.

"because it's true. You still long for her."

Ryujin tightened her grip.

"I know it because even after all the times that I've come and gone. Despite the I miss you's and hurry back."

She paused.

"Ryujin-ah..."

Their eyes met.

"You never looked at me that way."

Ryujin felt her heart drop to the ground.

"I was happy, really. I was happy with the love you can give - hoping that I'd be able to take up that reserved space you have for her. And for a time being, I felt that you truly loved me, too."

Her voice was quavering, breath unsteady.

"But even after...years of absence... I guess she's still there."

Isa dropped her hand and the silence in the car was deafening.

Ryujin couldn't remember the events that came after she dropped Isa off.

But a couple of hours later, she found herself stumbling across the living room, a bottle of beer in hand, cursing herself for not knowing what to do.