YOU & ME | JENLISA

Chapter 85

Lisa

When I offered to walk Jennie home after dance, I never thought she would invite me in and even more, I never thought that I would accept the invitation.

"Are you sure your dad won't be back anytime soon?"

She sliced up a lime and rested it on the rim of a coke glass, then she added a couple of ice cubes and pushed it towards me.

"He's doing a night shift tonight. He does two in a row and then changes to days, alternating his schedule." I took a sip of my drink, it was refreshing and the little fizz bubbles bounced around my tongue. "He's not that scary."

"He's fucking terrifying, Jennie."

She laughed, biting into the soft flesh of her bottom lip. "Come on, let's go hang out in my room." I kept my eyes trained on her ass as she climbed the stairs. No underwear lines, she was wearing a thong and I could imagine it clear as day. Perfect, peachy and round, I could feel myself getting hard and in sweatpants with nothing to constrict it, that was going to be a problem.

She pushed open her door and my attention averted to the little black suitcase on her bed, clothes strategically folded beside it. "Are you going somewhere?" I asked, feeling a little disheartened because I didn't want her to go anywhere.

"France." She lifted her bags and placed them on the floor, sat down and patted the mattress next to her. Sheepishly I sat down too, checking before I did that the record button was still pressed down.

"I didn't know you were going to France."

Maybe I should I rethink my decision not to go.

"A free trip to Europe, are you kidding?" She lay back on her bed and I sat still, feet dangling off the edge. Her whole manner was relaxed and I envied that. I wanted to relax, to lie next to her and feel normal, not to think all of these intrusive thoughts about what she thinks my intentions are or how it sounds to the audio recorder.

"Jennie?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm ready to talk to you about Nancy."

"Nancy?"

"The girl... the one who accused me of rape."

She sat up more, wiggling her back against the head board. I grabbed her pillow and hugged it to my chest for comfort.

"I'm listening." She said softly.

"I didn't really know her, I would see her around Sam's parties a lot. We would flirt occasionally but nothing ever came of it. Those parties were bad news Jennie, everyone was on drugs and half the time they don't even know what they had even taken. So we were drinking and flirting and took a shit load of cocaine together, then we ended up in one of the bedrooms. I had never done anything with a girl who hadn't paid me before and I wasn't really sure I wanted to, if we're being completely honest. I remember laying on the bed next to her, the whole room smelt like vodka and the music was real loud but we weren't alone. There were bodies scattered on the floor, all passed out or drugged out of their minds. Nancy tried to kiss me, she had drank a lot, we both had. I backed away from her and told her I didn't want to kiss her. I was okay with maybe fucking her and I know that sounds bad but at the time we were both intoxicated and we were having fun, stupid drunken, consensual fun."

"So, what happened?"

"Nothing. She kept trying to kiss me and I kept saying no. She couldn't understand why I was willing to fuck her but not kiss her. People don't get that."

"I don't get that." She admitted.

"Kissing for me, feels too intimate. It's something much more personal than sex. It's beautiful and vulnerable and romantic. I didn't want my first kiss to be at some drug dealer's party when I was high off my face with some random girl. I wanted it to be with someone I loved. Someone I had a close bond with. Kissing is the truest form of intimacy and I'm not just going to give that away to anyone. I get to keep that, it's mine unlike my body. But Nancy wouldn't give up and in the end I told her no, to everything. She couldn't respect my boundaries so I took a step back, zipped up my jeans and asked if I could call her a cab home. She didn't like hearing no for an answer. She got so mad, she screamed at me, dug her claws into me and then tore her own shirt right in front of me, I just remember seeing chunks of that bright magenta blouse hanging in shreds down her waist, then she ran out of the bedroom crying and screaming to everyone hysterically that I had raped her."