7/19/22
Friday
2:45 am
Dear, whoever might read this,
Hi, I'm not sure what I will be writing about but I know it will be dark. Also, I'm Cheyenne but everyone calls me Chey. Also, I'm 17 years old, my birthday is 12/02/2004. I'm probably going to trauma dump on here a lot and I don't know if I'm going to keep writing on this or an actual Jornanl I just know but it might add this I don't think anyone will ever read this and I kind of hope no one reads this because I'm going to share every secret every lie everything I've ever said in my life and I'm not sure if I can handle that because I'm not sure if I can I never spoke about my pain out loud nor wrote it down and maybe I should have maybe I could have I don't know be maybe I would be okay and maybe I'm not going to be holding this pain anymore if I wrote it down I'm hoping the pain will be gone I have so much anger inside of me I don't know how I'm angry at the world I'm angry how everyone even though they did nothing wrong. I don't trust I never trust why should I everyone eventually leaves everyone has told lies to me and I don't think I'm ready for that I don't think I ever will be ready for that because then I have to admit it that was hurting after all. and will this make sense probably not because I don't have the best grammar I don't pay attention in school I don't like school but I'm doing this because I want to prove I can do this. That there something good is inside of me I'm not sure if there is. I've lost so many people and I don't know how I'm dealing with it I don't think I'm dealing with it at all. I just push it aside and just focus on a new thing may be why I have so many crafts. I don't know why I barely can speak about it. I want to find a new life someone who I want to be but I don't know how to be that person because I'm scared to be that person I'm writing this because I'd never say these words out loud I never even spoke about this to my therapist I see twice a month and some days I don't even go because I don't know what to say I don't know how to put the feelings into words. Some day I'm scared that I'm going to lose my life with my own hands.
Till next time
Chey
YOU ARE READING
Chey's journaling
RandomWrite when you want to only. Write anything that means how Positive, Negative, Trivial, or Crazy as it sounds, Just write! It's simply writing down your thoughts and feelings to understand them more clearly. And if you struggle with stress, depressi...
