The Spirit of the Corps » Band of Brothers

Deleted Scene: Charlie Runs Away

If he'd expected defiance and a rebuttal from her, he didn't get it. Her eyes sank to the ground and her chin followed and her eyebrows ducked low over her eyes. "We can't find Charlie."

Floyd's breath got stuck somewhere in his throat, but Malark's emerged from his all in one loud gasp. "What?"

Autumn forced herself to meet Malarkey's eyes as she answered him. "After we lost Jackson, Charlie left the basement, even while there was still artillery fire. She didn't answer when we all called her back but we just assumed she'd be going to the field hospital. But when we got there she wasn't there, and she wasn't in the CP, and she wasn't in any of the other OPs, and she wasn't by the river looking for you guys. No one's seen her since she left." Autumn let all of her breath out. "It's been hours and we don't know where else to look."

Autumn and Malark's eyes both found Floyd. Now he was the one avoiding eye contact. "Are you sure?" he asked, so quietly that no one heard him. He cleared his throat and asked again, louder, "Are you sure?" while keeping his eyes settled on the scattered puzzle pieces littered beneath the bloodstained table in the centre of the room.

He could feel his heart in his throat. He could feel his stomach in his boots. He could feel the room swaying around him, threatening to tip him over, and he could feel his chest start to ache with the lack of oxygen he was taking in.

Autumn scoffed, not angry at him but frustrated, worried, and, he was sure, tired. They were all so tired. "What do you mean, 'am I sure'?" Autumn retorted with little patience. "Of course I'm sure!"

"Charlie just left?" Floyd checked, just to be certain. His eyes met Autumn's long enough to catch her nod and then darted away again.

His blood had gone ice cold.

Charlie was gone. She'd disappeared. How did someone just disappear into a tiny French town while an entire military unit was occupying it? Surely someone must have seen her. And surely she hadn't gone far. The town wasn't that big, and she could only walk so far, and - and -

How had he gone from letting himself imagine falling asleep with her wrapped up in his arms, tucked beneath his chin, to having to confront the reality of her disappearance?

He turned, suddenly and briskly, for the door. "I'm going to look for her."

"We've already checked the CP, the OPs, and the -"

"I'm checking other places," he cut Autumn off. "Further into town. When she wandered off in Bastogne she never went far, just far enough to clear her head for a while."

Because she'd done this before. He had to remind himself of that. She'd done this before and she'd always come back fine - well, people had always found her fine. He himself had found her a few times, lying in the snow or walking in circles around trees or simply sitting staring into space. She had always been fine. She wasn't self-destructive by nature, she just isolated herself to cope. That's all this was. And he was sure he'd find her in some backyard somewhere a few streets into town, sitting in the grass and gazing up at the stars.

He held onto that image as he raced to the CP to tell Winters and the other officers what he was doing. He didn't ask for their approval, which he didn't want or need, and they didn't give it to him. Winters simply nodded at him, a silent bid of good luck, and watched him go.

Floyd continued to hold onto that image, of Charlie safe somewhere and looking up at the stars, as he searched house after house, street after street, for hours and hours on end. Because she wasn't dead. She couldn't be dead. Artillery fire or a mortar or a collapsing building or anything else could not have hit her because she was Charlie and he needed her and the world could be cruel but it was not that cruel, it was not that cruel, it was not that cruel.