people fantasize about traumas..they make it look like trauma turns people into a better human being..a stronger one but idk where those strong human beings are..my trauma destroyed me..i feel unsafe everywhere i go..i can't spend a minute without feeling disgusted about myself..it kills me a little by little each moment..it didn't make me stronger..it made me have a social fear, lack of confidence, lack of expression..i don't take a stand for myself..i let myself be crushed by people..i can't do anything about all this..my trauma made my life a hell..it didnt do me justice..moreover i don't feel that at the age of 4..i needed to be stronger..i needed a normal childhood...i don't think that even the present me needs to be strong because i face the reason of my trauma each day..i want to feel safe for once..i don't need trauma to make me strong..i can survive without being strong..but i need love..i need to be able to live freely atleast at my house..but i can't..
