The First Step

Prologue

The familiar chill of a scanner washed over my body, making me shiver as it tugged at my magik.

"And there you are. All set to enter Mister..."

I shook my head at the older lady behind the counter as she peeled the sticker off my arm, the minty taste of its magik leaving my mouth with it. "Just Crow is fine."

"All right then, Mr. Crow. Third floor, room 219."

A tired sigh left my body, but I couldn't be bothered to correct the stupid. I have bigger things to worry about right now.

I turned away, waiting for the heavy metal of the automatic door to scooch aside enough to let me enter the plain, white halls. Plastic crinkled as I squeezed the bouquet tighter in my hand, and I wasn't sure what was louder: the echo of my sneakers as I walked down to the elevator, or the pounding of my heart in my ears.

With the push of a button, I reclined to the back of the elevator, feeling my stomach flip as it started to climb up. It only reached the second floor before it jostled to a stop, though. The door then peeled open to show a smartly dressed man leading a young girl in by the hand.

"I really get to leave today Daddy?" she was asking, face lit up in excitement.

"Yep. You were really brave, and now that you're better, maybe we can go out for some ice cream. How does that sound?"

"That sounds awesome!"

With a chuckle, the man went to reach for the button panel, causing me to push further into the wall to give them room. "Excuse me." His warm, brown eyes then glanced at me, finally landing on the bouquet clenched tightly in my fist. "Oh, visiting someone?"

I flicked my own hazel to the floor, taking a deep breath. "Yeah. You could say that."

"Odd flower choice there," he noted as his daughter poked at a few of the plant's rubbery, purple petals. "Was the store out of roses?"

"...They're hyacinths. They help with grief and multiple types of recovery." The history of them was ironic, I supposed, but I'd only grabbed them for its uses. Just like I had the last thirty seven times.

"Oh."

A small ping rang out as the elevator finally stopped on the third floor, opening to show another hallway, this one done in blue as nurses bustled about, some with towels, others with ice packs. I stepped out, instantly spotting the sign labeling room 219.

"Bye! I hope your friend gets better!"

I flinched at the girl's shout behind me, but I rightened myself quick enough. "Thanks."

It only took a few steps, but each one made my chest hurt, to the point I could barely breathe by the time I grabbed the door handle. I stood there for a moment, feeling eyes on me as I could only manage to stare at the metal plaque in front of me. A few papers were stuck on a folder beneath it. I couldn't understand most of the medical jargon on there, but one mark stood out clearly enough:

'Status: Unchanged.'

My eyes closed with a sigh, and with that I was opening the door. "Hey, man," I started, walking further in. "How's it going?"

I knew there wasn't going to be any answer, same as the last several times, but it felt like the right thing as I made my way over to the window. The purple bouquet in my hand fit nicely in the vase there, the dewdrops on each lavender petal catching the sunlight perfectly.

But I could only avoid it for so long. Eventually, I had to turn to face the figure on the bed, all tangled up in a systematic layout of wires and monitors. For three years, the blond boy had lay there. It was pretty pathetic to imagine him doing much else at this point. I just hated how empty his brown eyes looked, staring through me... through everything.

A scraping noise sounded as I dragged the plastic legs of a chair along the floor until it was right at his side. "So uhhh... I got accepted. Into college, I mean." My eyes drifted to the oil painting of a sunset on the wall. I stared at it. "It's nothing fancy. My mom said with my history, I could've gone anywhere, but I didn't want to go to any of those preppy magik colleges. That's more your thing anyways."

The room instantly fell quiet the second I stopped talking. My hand trembled, but I kept going. It wasn't like there was anything else to do. "Dustin and I also managed to get to be roommates like we wanted. I know he's a bit of an oddball but... I think it'll be fun. You'd like him– I think– if things hadn't... If Dekoran hadn't—"

My throat instantly grew tight, tears welling up in my vision as they finally landed on his own, probably never going to open again. Why was I even here, telling him about a college acceptance letter he'd never get? Why was I telling him about friends he could've made if Dekoran hadn't convinced him to join his coven? All choices he could've made if I'd just noticed what he was going through.

A sob shook out of my chest, just one at first, but once I started I couldn't stop. My fingers locked up a few times, but I managed to wrap them around the edge of his bed frame, putting my head against it, voice shaking along with the rest of me. Tears blurred my vision as he only sat there, face empty, mind empty.

"I'm sorry Elliot. It seems my life happens to be going great. I just wish I could share it with you."