𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐞

xxii

when you are drunk, you like to sleep with three pillows- i like to sleep with two.
but there are only four on my bed, so i will sacrifice my comfort just for you.

i will change my hair, and because you think it suits me- i will paint my nails blue.
i was never too fond of the colour,
but i would do just about anything for you.

i have stopped smoking my remedies
because you don't like it.
and i no longer go to clubs, or to bars.
you gave me a paper swan on that first sunday night, and so now i keep memoirs of you in small glass jars.

for you, i will stay up until the early hours of the morning,
because you have trouble sleeping.
and then sometimes, without warning,
i am saddened by the pictures of her still in your keeping.

i would change anything about myself,
even though we are not together.
how long will you love her?
will it fade?
or will it last forever?