At first sight, 'til last breath [ Stray Kids | Bang Chan ]

[ T W E N T Y ]

He watched her as she'd pass by. They'd often make eye contact but Ayeong wouldn't even flash him a smile. He was a stranger to her. Just another stranger passing by.

He'd muster up the courage to actually talk to her but in the end it would just end up him walking past her.

He was scared. About what? No one knows.

All their university years, they stayed like that. Ayeong oblivious about a human named Bang Chan and Chan flustered about a human named Ayeong.

In the end, Chan gave up. He figured that no matter how hard he tries, he won't be able to be the only one with her.

Of course. She also has someone. Whom she loves. Whom she kisses. It's not Chan.

Years passed and now, they finally met again. Chan didn't think about talking to her about his feelings since he knew that she'd be happy with a certain someone, and he was right. Plus, he didn't want to creep her out, looking back at her life how a certain someone always had his eyes on him.

He tried to ignore her but it was hard to do so. For him, it was hard. She was there, in front of him. For the first time, he could actually talk to her, get close to her. And would he just let that chance slide?

He had a selfish desire of wanting her to himself. He didn't want her to be with Joochan. What he didn't know was that if she weren't with Joochan, she wouldn't be happy.

He was selfish because of love.

All he wanted was her.

__________

"Why can't I have you, Ayeong? You... you don't know..."

I've been waiting for you for years.

"I don't deserve you.", tears fall from the girls eyes.

"I don't care!", he yells.

"Chan, you're so amazing. I just... don't deserve you..."

They cry while denying their feelings. Chan is so desperate for her that he's crouched down in front of her, while she's sitting on the couch.

"Chan... I can't be selfish...", she sobs.

He's hurt. He's been so selfish all the time, only wanting her to himself when he knows that there's no way she'd be happy yet look at her. She's kind hearted.

You're wrong. You deserve the world and I...

"I don't care! Ayeong, please! I wish for us to be there for each other when we need each other. For us to be each others only ones. For us to be who we want to be, with each other.", Chan rests his forehead on her knees.

"I'm sorry."

It's true. She had someone she loved dearly for years and all of a sudden, for him to change, for him to snap into a completely different personality, it was hard. No matter how hard she tries, she can't overcome the pain the scar brought to her. How can she put pressure on the scar that hasn't healed yet? How do you do that? Is it possible? It doesn't seem like it.

"Chan, I think we'll have to keep distant. We're not going to fix ourselves like this. I... also need at least one year rest."

I'm scared.

"Ayeong, no."

To let go, I'm afraid.

"It's the only way out."

It's not.

"Don't leave me like this. I'll break apart."

I need you, too.

"I'm so sorry."

Right this very moment. All I have to give is tears. I'm sorry. I can't be there for you.

"You're so heartless! How can you do this to me?!"

I know I'm selfish. I don't want to get hurt like last time. But I also don't want you to get hurt. Feelings change.... and so do people.

Her thoughts were not agreeing with her.

Neither was she.

But she thought that it was the right thing.

She hated to see him beg like that.

But she'd hate to give him love she never felt.

Fake love.

__________

A/N: I have my chemistry exam tomorrow and idk what I'm doing here.

Anyways, how did u like this chapter? Ik it's not like the best writing style bcz idk when that kind of creativity comes and goes so yeah. 🙂

Idky but I wanna twerk. This book has only a few chapters left and then I'll write a new book 😈

I still have a few exams so don't expect me to post everyday yet 💀