Nightmares and Loneliness

"Yeah, she occasionally has one, especially if she hears sirens in the neighborhood; she thinks something happened to me. I guess that's the life of a firefighter, huh?"

Stella nods, "I guess so."

Cruz can sense something is on her mind. "Are you sure you're, okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She lied; she feels that she vented to Cruz too much. "I think I'm going to go get my stuff in order for next shift."

" Okay" He watches her walk away; he knows something is wrong, but he's not going to push. He just wishes Severide would come home already; he wants things to go back to normal. And he misses Stella's smile. Her real smile-they all know she's been wearing a fake smile here lately.

The end of the shift finally rolls around, and everyone is ready for the next forty-eight hours off. Stella smiles as she listens to Violet, Ritter, Gallo, and Carver making plans for the next two days. Mouch and Herrmann talk about their wives and date night; Cruz runs for the door because he couldn't wait to get home so Chloe could see for herself that he's okay. Capp and Tony are making breakfast plans. She closed her locker and waved at them as they walked away.

"What are you up to the next two days?" Brett asks her as she approaches. She worried about her friend; she could see the fake smile and the loneliness in her eyes.

Stella looked at her and shrugged. "Nothing, home, Molly's, home again, then back here," she paused. "Same old, same old."

Brett feels bad for her. "I've got plans with Dylan tomorrow, but I'm free now if you want to grab breakfast."

"I would love that; I'm starving." She smiled as she picked up her bag and put it on her shoulder. It beats going home to an empty loft," she thinks to herself.

As the girls were walking out of the firehouse, they heard Boden holler, "Lieutenant, you got a moment?"

Stella arched her eyebrow. "Of course, for you always," she said as she turned around.

Brett can sense it's a private conversation from the way Boden looks at her. "I'll meet you in the car," she told Stella, who nodded.

Boden waits for Brett to walk away. "How are you holding up?"

Stella gives him a confused look. "About what, Chief?"

Boden gives her a knowing look. He doesn't tell her he knows she was up all night; she was up last shift too, so he knows something is going on. "With Severide being gone, it seems to keep dragging on. If we can feel his absence here at the firehouse, it's got to be ten times worse for you."

She sighed. He has no clue how truly hard it's been. "Thank God for FaceTime." She jokes. "It's hard, but we communicate a lot; it's hard on both of us. But we will get through it; we will make it work; we always do."

Boden nods. "Just remember you have your 51 family here for you. And my phone is always on, and my door is always open; don't hesitate to reach out to me. Your family, Stella; I did give you away, so that means you are my daughter. I've got your back anytime, anywhere." His tone is so sincere that it makes her want to cry.

She smiles and is grateful for his words. "Thanks, Chief, that means a lot."

Boden watches as she walks to Brett's car, he's hoping she is leading on someone but has a feeling she is fighting the battle alone, loneliness is a silent killer. He just hopes Stella reaches out before she drowns herself in loneliness.

A couple of hours later, Stella walks into her loft. She tossed her bag to the floor. She stands there for a moment, looking around. She hates being home anymore. Her phone rang, and she smiled at her husband's face as it appeared on her screen.