my online lover

heal what's unhealable

Healing.

Kevin

The wounds?

Gone.

Kevin

That's good.

What about the inside ones?

Not gone.

He doesn't reply quickly but I stay in the chat, staring and the little photo of him. He has had the same one since the first day we started to talk while I changed mine three times in a row. I don't like keeping the same photo for too much, I need to change them, even if I have to put a stupid one. Just because they bored me after a while. As 'typing...' appears under Kevin's name, I prepare myself to cut the conversation.

Kevin

They won't go easily, it will take time

I know.

Kevin

I'll let you go, I just needed to know how you feel.

I twist my lips and turn my head up when I sense my dad coming back. He sits where he was before and looks at me. «I just wish whatever you're being through is worth it.»

My gaze is still on my father when I hear drops in his words. «I am fine, Dad.»

He shakes his head. «No, you're not. Either you're falling in love or something bad happened to you.»

Or both. I shut my mind down. «None of them,» I laugh. «I am just living in a bad University period. It will go in some days.»

My dad keeps staring at me, trying to find the fake in my words. «I really hope you're right.»

I face my phone again, typing the text.

Monday I'll come there.

We need to talk.

Whether is the last time or not, we need to.

Kevin

Sure, I'll be here all day.

I put my phone away and take a deep breath before letting all the feelings slide on my body. In whatever way the conversation will go, we need to clear things up and now that my mind feels a bit better after what happened, I think I can afford a full normal conversation with him. Despite everything, he saved me.

Technically, my father did. If he didn't give me the Apple Watch, Kevin would have found it harder to find me. I don't even know why they didn't take it off. Maybe when I arrived there, it was already gone and they didn't feel the need to throw it away. However, I have to thank Kevin to have saved me.

Leaving out that he is the main reason why I was there in the first place.

—

When Monday arrives, my mind starts to feel weak against the knowledge to meet Kevin.

I washed the clothes he lent me, even if I didn't know if he wanted that, and put them into a bag after that, I sit on my couch, staring at some point in front of me while waiting for Antonio to give me his car. I didn't want Kevin to come to pick me up, I wanted time alone while I go there so my mind can still think clearly before losing sight. Antonio offered to drop me there himself, but then he had to wait either inside or in the car, so I declined his deal and I asked him to just give me the car. I would do the rest.

When my phone buzzes, I take it and read my best friend's text telling me he is down. I greet Brody with a kiss on his little muzzle and he snuggles it against my face before letting me go away.