"Fuck you." Love you, too

Wednesday

I half listen to what Larry and Todd are fighting about. I glance at my food, glance at my friends, then glance at someone I want to be my friend. But the someone I was looking for, wasn't there. Phillip caught me staring over near him and he rolls his eyes, then mouths, "bathroom." 

"Hey, I'll be back, I have to piss." 

Todd glares at me. "We don't need to know if you need to piss, shit, puke, smoke, or whatever else."

I grin, and let out a laugh. "Well, tell that to Larry. He has to know my every move." 

Larry nods. "Yes. I'm writing a book about Sal."

I stand up, then walk towards the doors exiting the cafeteria. I glance over at Phillip, and he was already staring. He shakes his head and smiles, then looks away. 

I walk out of the cafeteria, and into the restroom. I instantly stop in my tracks when I hear crying. I didn't know what I was expecting walking into the bathroom, but I wasn't expecting that.

I check all the stalls, and Travis was in the one in the middle. Nobody ever really use the bathrooms, so I knew it was him.  I sit down, not caring that the floor is probably disgusting as hell. Travis was sitting on the floor, too.

I lean against the stall door, and he lets out a quiet gasp. 

"Who the fuck-"

"Hey."

"... Why you."

"Why not me? I'm great."

Travis, did not find that amusing. "Fuck you."

"Ouch. Sorry, not the time, you okay?"

"Don't ask such dumb fucking questions." 

I lean my head against the stall door. "Huh. So, are you okay?"

"Will you shut up if I answer?"

I don't answer, because I probably won't.

Travis grumbles, then we go into silence for a few moments. "No."

I rest my hands on my knees, and stare at the wall. I can only imagine what Travis looks like on the other side. 

"Don't- Don't even ask if I want to talk about it." 

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Whatever."

"Well now you make me want to talk," I pause, not sure if I should say what I want to say, or not, "okay, so, I get it, you don't want to talk about it, but just hear me out-" I exhale a deep breath. "So, uh, if you ever need someone to talk to, or go to, you know where I live right? Addison Apartments. I know you're going to laugh at me since you hate me and all, but, we can start over. We don't have to hate each other forever, so if you ever need a place to crash at, I'm always free." 

1 minute, 2 minutes, 3 minutes. 3 minutes pass and he doesn't say a word. I was debating on getting up and leaving, until he finally spoke.

"... Thanks. I uhm. Thanks. I guess. This doesn't make us friends or anything, sitting on this fucking floor talking through a door." Travis scoffs.

I nod against the door. "I know that. Hey, Travis, can I ask you one more question?"

Travis groans, but doesn't protest.

So, I ask. "Why do you hate me so much?" I ask, even though I know last time it ended in him bolting out of the bathroom. 

We sit there in silence for a while again. "Why? Because, you're annoying. Because... Because you remind me of-" His voice cracks at the end, and it takes him a moment to continue. "You remind me of my mother." 

I flinch. Out of all things I always thought he'd say, I never thought he'd say that. The feeling of being compared to a dead person, wasn't great. Especially since it was Travis's own mother, he was comparing me to. I was unable to speak. My mouth opened and closed, and opened again, but no words came out. So instead, I just sat there. We didn't speak another word to each other. We both just sat there. We didn't move, we didn't speak, we didn't do anything. Thoughts flooded through my head. Was his mother nice? Was she funny? Optimistic? Smart? Did she sound like me? Did we have the same height? Was she kind? Caring? How did I remind him of her? I wanted to ask, but when I opened my mouth again, nothing came out. I closed it, and right then the bell rang, ending lunch break. I got up, and I heard Travis shuffling around too. I didn't wait for him to unlock the stall door, because I know he's waiting for me to leave. I pause, before exiting. 

"Hey, you can make fun of me all you want for this, but, I'm here if you need anything." Before Travis can say a word, I walk out, and walk towards my next class.